The First Cut Is The Deepest
by DuchessLomia
Summary: Sequel to Memories of a Different Past and also my attempt at a sequel to the Movie. Meg has discovered The Phantom and together with her mother they forge a journey across the eastern world.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This story was inspired by the Sheryl Crow song of the same title. _"I would have given you all of my heart, but there's someone whose torn it apart, and she's taken all that I've got, but if you want, I'll try to love again." _The basic outline is that Erik leaves France with Meg and Ann, and they travel across the globe, but Erik still burns for Christine. I've tried to remain as close to Canon as possible, but forgive me if the characters are too OOC. The time span covers about thirty years, including the new Millenium (1900). Of course, this is a Meg/Erik pair story, but it's different. No happy after ever, and no little "bunnies". There is a bit of death and destruction, because they visit Mazenderan. Be warned before you read this, I like to write angst/drama, not sappy fluff. Anyway, do enjoy the story and drop a review or two. :)**

**I do not own Phantom of The Opera. Credit is given to the following: Gaston Leroux, Susan Kay, Andrew Loyd Webber/Joel Shumacher, and Rob Schnieder. (You'll figure the last one out soon.)  
**

**  
Megan Giry:** I don't know how to explain my feelings upon first seeing The Phantom's face. It was ghastly yet intriguing. I wondered what horrible accident had left him so disfigured, or had he been born that way? It was devastating and disgusting, yet from the moment I'd heard him sing as Don Juan I had recognized that soft, sensual voice.

Here was my old childhood friend, so long deemed a figment of my imagination, and yet also here was Christine's Angel of Music, and The Opera Ghost! It appeared that all three were actually one, and this one man was dominating the stage.He moved with Christine in such grace, such charisma, I knew they were meant to be.

Her voice rang out with clarity and perfection, and I realized that half the audience was entranced. My mother, however, glanced back at me, and I knew at that moment, this was the long hidden secret she had kept from me for so long. My mother had often been a quiet, somber lady, and I respected her.

She had also, however, been a secretive and over-bearing presence. All my life she had hovered over me, watching my every move. She hardly even trusted me to go out with friends! I had never done anything to warrant such an over-protective stance, yet still she watched me like a hawk.

Did she watch me to keep me from knowing too much? I now watched The Phantom and Christine move across the bridge, and I wondered, why had my best friend kept such a dark and seductive man so hidden from me? I thought she trusted me, she had certainly trusted me with her Angel secret, but when I had asked after the Masquerade if that sinister Red Death was her Angel of Music as well, she had replied "There is no Angel. Only Erik."

Erik. I repeated that name in my head as he began to sing off cue. This wasn't in the script, but before anyone could register that, she tore off the man's mask! I was ashamed for my friend. She was so compassionate, so careful and loving, yet here she was revealing her Angel's true identity to the world. I almost felt like slapping her.

The look upon Erik's face was utter shock and despair. He almost appeared to want to cry. Suddenly and without warning he snipped a rope and fell through a hidden trapdoor beneath the stage. I looked up for a breif second and saw the cracks that signaled the fall of the chandelier. I screamed and ran after my mother, who appeared to be chasing Christine.

I caught up to her as she ran backstage, only to be accosted by Raoul. "Please Monsieur Follow Me!" She told him, and then turned to me. "You stay here!" She ordered me. My mother ran off and I stomped my foot. I was tired of her ordering me around, telling me what to do. I was sick of her constant hovering, as if I were some pitiful five year old.

I ignored her completely and turned to the crowd behind me. "We need to find Christine Daae and her Tormentor." I yelled at them, but a man from within the crowd screamed back, "That's Obvious!" I was growing furious, with my mother ordering me about while my best friend had been aducted by a ludicrous mad-man, and I yelled. "Does anyone know the way down to the cellars?"

Two stagehands raced to my side and the crowd began to follow. We ran down the first four cellars yelling madly for Christine. I wondered where my mother and Raoul had gone, and I hoped desperately that they were ok. The crowd waved torches and began to chant, and I felt my insides tremble. I had always considered myself a brave girl, adventurous and curious, but now I realized that I was frightened to death of this strange and egnimatic Phantom.

He had murdered many employees at the Opera, including the fateful night he swung Joseph Buoquet out over the stage. I had barely escaped only to find my mother running around the Opera like a crazed banshee. I believed strongly that whoever this man was, if he was my mother's secret, then he had quite a powerful hold over her.

The crowd began to surge and soround a small pier. "There's no other way than to wade through the water. It's not that deep, but I don't know. No one has ever been this far down." The stagehands told us. The same man from within the crowd screamed, "You can do it!" I bit my lower lip, and stepped in. The crowd behind me followed, and we waded into the water. We came out at a small cavern, and I looked around.

It appeared that Christine and her kidnapper were not here, but the crowd began to search every corner anyhow. I raced up to a small table, and glanced down. A small white half-mask shone in the candlelight, and I picked it up.

It was the exact same mask I had seen nearly eight years ago in my room. He had been there, watching over me protectively, my old friend.

**Ann:** I raced through the hidden tunnel, cursing Erik. I knew he loved Christine, but this was no way for any man to treat a lady. I came out into the dark night sky, and stopped. I gathered my breath and looked around. Whatever was occurring down below was not my business. All I could hope for was that Christine could understand and accept Erik.

She was a nice young girl, deserving of the pampered treatment that Erik would provide. Only, would Erik accept Christine if she did not love him? I knew she was head over heels for Raoul De Chagney, but I had just sent him twenty feet to a watery grave. I fell to my feet and began to pray. I prayed that God would forgive me, for the murderous heathen I had become.

I cried for my broken soul, my wretched actions, and I prayed that God would have mercy on us all. Suddenly I felt the hot fire breathing down on me, and looked up. The Opera Populaire burned before my eyes, and I swore under my breath. Megan! I had told her to stay inside, but knowing her curious instincts she would have followed the crowd below to Erik's lair.

I had to rescue her, she was my only precious joy, my sweet daughter. I raced around to the Rotunda side of the Opera, only to be once again accosted by Raoul, and Christine! They were wet, scared, and Christine's eyes were red-rimmed. "What did he do? He didn't hurt you dear?" Raoul shook his finger in my face. "Be glad we are all alive, and he let her go. No time to talk, We need to escape France."

I hugged Christine tight and looked at Raoul. "Your fortunes? Your title?" Raoul pulled Christine tight to him and she clung on feircly. "Forget all that, only Christine matters." I nodded and told them, "You'll find several horses out front. No one will notice in the mayhem if you ride off." I held Christine's hand and pulled her close.

I whispered, "I'm so sorry for it all. It's my fault. You can't force Love." Christine whispered back, "But I do love Erik." Before I could register my astonishment, Raoul had dragged Christine away, and they disappeared from my life forever.

**Erik:** I stumbled in the darkness. It was pitch black beneath the Paris Catacombs, and I was lost. All I really wanted to do was curl up and die. I turned sideways, and hit my shin on a coffin.

I tried to walk further, but finally just gave up. Life was not worth living without Christine. I cried and dug my nails into the dirt. I stood up and continued walking, thinking how good it would be to just drown my sorrows into a keg.

I wondered where I could get some fine wine inside a masuolem, and then I laughed. Here I was,walking amongst the dead. I belonged here, wasn't I a living corpse? The Devil's Child? I do believe I was delirious. Christine's ring felt heavy in my pocket, and I touched it.

How I would much rather be touching her, feeling those soft lips against my cheek, her warm hands against my cold body. But no, tonight she would be wrapped around Raoul's body, that insidious, odious, Fop. I kicked another coffin, and then screamed.

Where in Hell was I!


	2. Time to Move On

**Meg:** I clutched the mask in my hand as I watched the mayhem in Erik's lair. People everywhere were looting, over-turning objects, and wrecking the poor man's life. I could see from a glimpse that this man was not ordinary. He was a genius, an intelligent, clever, lonely hermit. I could understand why my mother had sheltered him for so long.

People were screaming about the monster, the freak who had abducted Christine. I knew what he did was wrong, but when consumed by love a person will do anything. My only hope was that Erik had been kind to Christine, and perhaps they were now headed out of France to a better life.

I walked over to a cluster of shattered mirrors, and felt a strange draft. It was issuing from the back of one mirror, but as I stuck my hand out to touch that backing I realized it was actually a hole! I looked around quickly, but no one was watching. I snuck into the hole, and was abducted by darkness.

The further I walked away from the lair, the darker it got. I was glad there were no corners or turns, just a steep incline. I had no idea what I was doing, but I did it anyway. I worried about my mother, wherever she and Raoul had gone off to. The air around me became stifling, and stale. I found that the dampness of the walls had given way to dry dust, and wondered where this tunnel led.

After what seemed like an eternity of wondering I came up into a small opening. I walked across that opening and gasped.

**Ann: **I screamed and ranted. I raved at the incompetent fools. After my encounter with Christine and Raoul I had raced back to Erik's lair. The destruction was irreversable. As physical fire burned above, human fire raged below. People had ruined his documents, his creations, and were now burning his most precious trophy.

The Grand Organ Piano. Now a smoldering pile of ashes and metal. I had screamed for Megan, yelling at whoever I could find. She was nowhere within his lair. I raced over to his bedroom, and then his bathroom. "Hey, check this out!" A man was inside playing with Erik's inventive electric toilet. "Where does the water go?" He asked. I told him, 'Stick your head inside and see." Of course the dimwit obeyed.

I ran over to a group of shattered mirrors, and stopped. One of those mirrors was missing a back. I waved my hand in front of it and then stepped inside the tunnel.

**Meg: **I wondered quietly inside the Paris Catacombs. I hoped there was some way out, because I had lost my way to the entrance from whence I had appeared. I felt frightened and cold. All my life I had never expected to be here, inside a cold tomb chasing down my best friend and a deformed phsycopath. I heard a sound, and stopped. It was as if the coffins themselves were weeping. I rubbed my arms and clutched the mask tighter.

In the pitch black darkness I heard a sobbing. I stopped before an ornate coffin and held my breath. The sobbing was coming from somewhere within that area, but I was stone-still as I leaned over. I couldn't see much except for a small outline, and I sighed in relief that there was no one actually inside the coffin. The person beside it leaped up at my breath, and I backed away. He stood tall, powerful, and menacing.

Suddenly he growled, "Give me that!" and grabbed the mask from my hand. I watched as he placed the mask over his face, and he looked at me. I wasn't prepared for his next request. "Where is Antoinette?"

I asked him back. "Where is Christine?" He looked at me and replied. "I let her go. She is with Raoul." My heart leapt. At least I knew she was safe.

"I don't know where my mother went." I told him honestly. He sighed, and then came to stand beside me. "Why did you come here?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders. 'I wanted to find Christine. I found the entrance and just kept walking."

He replied. "Do you remember the way you came?" I was atonished. He wanted to go back? Back to that burnt-out shell? Back to those Police? Or did he want me to go back, and leave him here? "Why?" I asked.

Erik leaned in to me and said quietly. "I am lost."

**Ann:** I wondered over dusty floors, past ancient coffins, and onward toward the voices I heard. I checked my path to make sure I remebered the way back, and finally I found the two. "What did you do to her?" Meg was asking Erik, and Erik replied. "I asked her to stay with me. To be my wife, but I don't think I did it in a good way."

I listened as my daughter had her first converstation with an old friend. Meg said, "No, you kidnapped her, forced her to your lair, and almost killed The Vicompte of France." Erik said quietly, "Yes, but in the end I didn't. Even assholes deserve happiness." Meg and Erik laughed, and I stepped out of my shadows.

"Meg, Erik," I said. Meg turned to me and Erik ran over to me. He almost screamed, "Dear God Lady! Doesn't anyone think to bring a lantern or a candle?" Meg looked at me and said a little softer, "Mother, did you at least remember the way you came? We can't find our way out."

I nodded and took Meg's hand. Erik walked beside us and I brought them back to the tunnel. "Erik, you go first." I wasn't about to have him at my back. He walked and we followed. We came to his lair, and he screamed.

I clutched his shoulder. "You knew this would happen. You've burned out the Opera Populaire, destroyed the careers of hundereds of employees, and to the eyes of Paris, you are a monster. We must get you out of France before sunrise."

Erik stumbled into his lair, by now a burnt out mess. Paper was scattered over the floor, his books floated upon the water, and his organ piano simply didn't exist anymore. He held out his hands in frustrated agony, and to my shock Meg walked over to him.

"Erik, she's right. This is no one's fault but your own." He kneeled to the floor and whisperd, "My...oh...oh.." Meg knelt with him, and he tumbled into her arms. I watched as my daughter looked helplessly up at me. I mouthed the words "Care for him. We'll discuss things later."

**Meg:** Erik fell into my arms sobbing and I held him. I had no idea what to do but my mother's only words were, "Care for him, we'll discuss things later?" I tentively reached out and began to stroke Erik's soft gray hair.

He cried, "Christine." I knew he was broken, his life was shattered, and there wasn't really anything to say that would make things better. My mother was looking around the lair, and she came over to Erik's limp body.

"Erik, where is your lockbox?" She asked. He pointed towards the water, and she sighed. "Where exactly?" He sat up and wiped his eyes. Suddenly he stood up, walked straight into the water, and began to prod the walls. "What in the world is he doing?" I asked my mother.

Erik removed a small rock from the stone, and I was impressed. The crowd had stolen all his jeawels, his expensive items, but they had not discovered this little secret. When he returned to the peir he was soaked, and I had to glance away. Truthfully he was a handsome man, with chisled muscles and a tall, lith frame.

Only for that portion of his face, his right side so marred with raw, dead skin, horrid boils, and scars. I watched as Erik handed the box to my mother, and she used a key I had never seen before to open it. "Where did you get that?" I asked. Erik replied, "I gave it to her. It is a skeleton key, opens every single lock in this Opera. Even the one's the Manager's couldn't get to."

I shook my head quizzicaly. So many questions were burning in my mind, so many years of secrecy from my mother. I had to know exactly who this man was, and what his relationship with my mother was. "How do you two know each other?" I asked my mother. Erik looked sharply up at her, and she sighed. "Megan, there are, so many things, so many..."

My mother cast her eyes downward, and Erik continued, "We must first get away from this Opera, the police will still be here, and I can't be seen. Meg, you will know, in a few hours time." I bit my lip and looked at the box my mother held. It was full of francs, perhaps thousands of them, all crammed together along with coins and one small locket.

I tenderly reached out to grasp that locket. Erik winced as I opened it, and inside was a tiny, faded drawing of a young woman, perhaps in her thirties. "Who is she?" I asked. My mother was also looking at it, and from the look on her face she had never seen this item before.

Erik's tears fell gently down his face and he replied "My mother, from so long ago. It is all I have left of her." My mother reached out to Erik's shoulder, and he took the locket from my hand.

"Count the money please, Antoinette. I must change my clothing. Megan, would you care to sort out my books and find all the dry travel ones, plus any dry maps there are left?" Erik stood up, and I nodded.

I realized that when Erik gave a command, he expected it to be obeyed.


	3. Leaving

**Erik:** My life, shattered. My heart, broken. My entire existence had been erased, burned, and mutilated. I clung to the last vestiges of sanity as I lay upon my bedroom floor. I sorted through the piles of clothes that had been dumped from my armoire. I heard Ann and Meg talking quietly together, and my heart bled.

I had ruined everything for them, their careers, their lives, even their homes were destroyed. Unlike the other ballet rats who could return to their guardians homes after the fire, Meg had lived with her mother, here, in the Opera.

I changed my wet, dripping clothes, and placed a wig upon my ghastly hair. I remembered how Meg had ran her hands trough that hair, and wondered how such an innocent girl could touch such a loathsome monster. I was a monster, indeed.

Murderer, Theif, Extortionist, and now Arsonist. I looked around for my favorite item, my handmade music box with the little monkey. It was nowhere within my bedroom, and I searched the bathroom. I came down to the main floor and Ann asked, "What are you looking for?" Meg herself gasped when she saw me, and I wondered what it was that made her stare so intently.

I told Ann, "I'm missing my music box. That one with the monkey. Have you seen it?" She told me quietly, "Erik, we have far more important matters than a missing music box."

I screamed, "Well I Want It!"

Meg shrank back but Ann stood her ground. "Get a grip on yourself Erik! We need to get out of this place before we're discovered. If you want the damn thing so badly you shouldn't have burned down the Opera!" She yelled at me and I glared at her. Meg was holding her arms and trembling, and Ann walked over to her.

She held her daughter close and whispered, "It's ok, hush. You have to understand that Erik...he has these moments..." I cast my eyes down to the pile of books and maps that Meg had gathered.

I picked them up and announced, "I'm going to Italy. Antoinette, you have been a gracious friend, and a wonderful person. Megan here is a sweet, young child with the rest of her life before her. I shall leave you enough money to find a decent apartment until you can find a good job. Meg, she has the potential to become Prima Ballerina...At another theater."

That was that, and I began to walk towards the edge of the lake. Ann asked me, "Wait, what about us? Your just going to leave?" I looked back at her. I watched as Meg loosened her grip on her mother and walked towards me. She asked gently, "Is Italy a nice place?" I was shocked at her boldness, but I answered. "It is the most gorgeous of all countries, with lush rolling hills, and the scent of the beach in every corner."

I remembered when I had traveled there, in my three month hiatus. Of course I had worn out my horse Ceaser by taking a longer route through Slovenia. This time I planned to travel straight east, until I reached the Italian border. Ann watched her daughter as Meg looked back at her. "Mother, where will we go? What sort of job could a widowed lady your age possibly expect?" I was outraged. "Megan Giry, you apologize right now. There is no reason to be rude to your mother!"

She looked down and blushed, as Ann folded her arms angrily across her chest. Meg whispered, "I am sorry." Ann came over to me and Meg, and looked at the lake before us. "Erik, how long does it take to reach Italy?" She asked quietly. My mind reeled and I became dizzy. Were these two women asking me to take them to a different country? I doubted they could even speak anything other than French and English! "What exactly is your plan?" I asked.

Ann looked at her daughter, who looked at me. "We'd like to go with you, as company. Your appearance may shock people, but with two ladies by your side, they may not question you." I admit Ann had a point.

If I ventured about as before, when I had been alone, people would stare at me and make rude remarks, yet if I was flanked by two kind women, people would perhaps not give me such a hard time. I looked at Megan, who was still dressed in her Don Juan costume.

I told them, "You must check on your apartment here. Take whatever has not burned, and change your clothes. I will meet you at the Rotunda side of the Opera. IF you are not there by exactly 1:05 a.m., I am leaving." Meg looked at me and smiled. "Thank you." She said quietly.

I nodded at her, and watched as they descended into the water.

**Meg:** I don't know what possessed me to go with Erik. He was a known criminal, an arsonist, a murderer, and possibly mentally insane. Yet he was also intelligent, clever, talented, and well-dressed. I had gasped in shock when he appeared before us, dressed all in black with a soft, black wig.

His true emotions were shown, however, when he actually fought my mother over a silly music box. Inside that outward sinister appearance was a trapped child, a man desperately seeking comfort. I remembered how warm he had felt within my arms, as I trudged behind my mother.

We were taking paths I never knew existed, and walking, quiet literally, inside the walls! We came to my mother's apartment within the Opera, and came inside; not by the front door, but behind a large tapestry.

I decided to accept this peculiarity. My mother spoke harshly, "Megan, sit down. We must have a talk." I countered her, "Erik only gave us thirty minutes." She grabbed my arm and forced me down upon a chair. I gasped in astonishment. "Listen to me child. This man, this person, is a criminal. He has caused many deaths...including your father's." My mother's words stung me. "My father? Jason?" I asked quietly.

My mother began to tell me about Erik's life. She explained how she had cared for him for so many years, acting almost as a surrogate mother. I began to twist a small corner of the blanket that covered the chair. My mind became dark and dreary as I learned of Erik's extortionism from the managers, his deadly obsession with Christine, and his murderous lunacy.

"Megan, think clearly about your choice. We can leave now, and never see him again. Believe me child, if we stay with him, we will always stay with him." I knew what that meant.

It meant that if we chose to stay with Erik, he would never let us go. His jealousy, his rage, would boil over if we ever decided to leave him. Yet I asked my mother. "You've had that choice. For so many years, you could have taken me and ran away. Why?"

My mother waved her hand around the charred walls of her room. "See what he did when Christine Daae chose to give her heart to Raoul?"

That was all the answer I needed. I threw the blanket the floor and looked at my mother. She looked at me and we silently agreed. Erik was a desperate lunatic, who, if left to his own devices could bring devastation to hundreds of people.

He needed guidance, security. He needed us. Antoinette and Myself.

**Ann: **I had told her all I could. I had explained every small detail, and yet still we were packing and dressing. We didn't have much to pack, but that was good. The lighter the load, the faster the journey. To be honest, I cared about Erik. He was my friend and confidante. For years we had been comrades in the Opera Populaire.

I couldn't send him out alone in the night; I couldn't be sure that he wouldn't chase Christine and Raoul down from wherever they had ran off to. I loved my daughter more than anything, and if she could accept Erik as he was, than perhaps our journey could go along peacefully.

Of course I was unprepared, when we walked to the Rotunda side of the Opera, for Meg to actually slap Erik's face hard as he held onto the reins of three majestic horses.

He reeled in shock and I gasped. Meg began to scream at Erik, "You dirty, murderous heathen!" Erik was looking fast between myself and Meg, but I allowed my daughter to vent her frustrations. "How could you!...You ruined our lives..Twice!...and so many other people!...Poor Christine." Meg had begun to cry, and Erik jumped up on a large, brown and white Stallion.

"If this is the treatment I receive, I am going alone." He began to kick his horse, but I screamed. "Wait!" I grabbed my daughter and looked at her. Erik crossed his arms tightly. "I am waiting." He growled.

Meg wiped her tears on her sleeve and said to me. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I just..." I knew how she felt, and I hugged her tightly. Erik was fuming, and I picked up my bag.

I turned to my daughter. "Stay or Go?" where the only words I asked her. Quietly Meg picked up her bag and attached it the white mare's saddle. She jumped up and I fixed my bag upon a brown and black mare.

We three looked at each other, and it was a silent agreement. Together we rode off into the distance, guided only by the moonlight and Erik's well accustomed eyes.


	4. Italy

**Erik:** We rode relentlessly, behind back alleys and through dirty slums. I was flanked on both sides by Ann and Meg, and we sped out of France as quickly as possible. Rather than take the long trip through Slovenia that I had taken many months before, we headed directly south towards the French/Italian border.

It took us nearly two days, but we made it, albeit exhausted. Finally we had to stop, for the horses sake. A small hill on the southern end of Italy provided us with a great view of the town.

Meg exclaimed, "It's breathtaking!" We climbed off our horses and I led them to a small pond while Ann began to unpack some food. I came back to find them both quietly talking, and they looked at me. I sat down quietly and the three of us ate silently. I grabbed my pack and began to rummage through the maps, until I found a good Italian one.

I asked the two women, "Do either of you speak Italian?" Meg shook her head no but Ann replied, "I can, and English. Meg only knows English." Meg looked at me and asked, "What other languages do you speak?" I chuckled as I listed what I had learned from many years of solitary practice."English, Spanish, Italian,Chinese, and German."

Meg stopped chewing and stared at me. "Your not serious." She asked. Ann smiled and told her, "He is a smart man. I'm not surprised." Meg continued to eat while I drew a line through the map. "This is our course. I plan to stop at all major architectural sites, including The Vatican." Ann cocked her head, "Are you feeling religious all of a sudden?"

I nodded no, "I want to see the columns and arches,and the main square." Meg asked me, "What is your religion? Mother and I are Catholic." I looked down at the map, and them met Meg's gaze. "I have no religion. I belive in science and technology." Meg replied, "That is your belief and I'll respect it."

Ann meanwhile was looking at the map, and marking several beach sites. "Do you plan to visit those?" I asked. "If it's ok with you, I'd like to spend some time on the shore." I was concerned that she would think I wasn't going to let her or Meg do their own activities. "Ann, it's fine if you want to go off. You too Meg, if either of you want to do something, you don't need my permission."

Meg smiled and began to clean up the impromptu picnic. She re-packed the items and fed the rest of the food to the horses. I curled up underneath a tall oak tree and began to doze off. Meg and Ann curled up together beside me and I watched as they closed their eyes.

It was strange, only two days ago I had burned down their only home and ruined both their lives, and yet here they were, trusting enough to fall asleep by my side. I wondered if this was what may have happened if I had kept Christine, rather than let her go. Yet I felt, in the bottom of my heart, that she would not have been as trusting.

She certainly wouldn't have been as great a conversationalist as Ann or Meg. I realized that the two days I had spent talking with Meg and her mother was the longest conversation I had ever experienced. Christine never really wanted to talk about anything other than her father or her former childhood.

Often when I tried to discuss literature or art, or even astronomy, Christine would become bored. Ann, on the other hand, would often sit with me and talk about many things. I realized that I had been taking Ann's friendship for granted for so many years.

She had been there for me, and I had ignored her, agitated her, even shoved her aside when she wanted to be with me. I swore I would make amends, and I would not treat Megan that same way.

**Meg:** I awoke the next evening refreshed and excited. It was actually my first trip out of Paris, France, and I was curious as to where our journey would lead. I watched Erik silently as he readied the horses, and I thought of all that had occurred since that fateful night. He was indeed a murderer, and hard criminal, yet he was so intelligent, and so clever.

My conflicted feelings swam within me like a swarm of bees. Erik had been more than kind to us the past two days, talking as any other person while we fled the police. He was taking us with him, and it was true that without him my mother and I would suffer. We had no money, not enough to sustain us, and no home, no jobs, nothing.

Of course with Erik we still had no home and no jobs, yet we did have enough money to sustain our triumvirate, although it was stolen money. My thoughts were interrupted as Erik came over to me.

His sultry voice recited a soft poem "The moonlight streams across the sky in a nocturnal banner. The stars light a path past the heavens and out beyond. The earth revolves, the sun dances, and another night begins." I turned from my thoughts to find him, and asked, "Did you make that up just now?"

He nodded and I smiled. "Pretty." I said. He looked out at the stars and then pointed at a small green blip. "That is Jupiter. Can you see that constellation over their?" I searched past the tiny planet, but our star gazing was interrupted by my mother.

"Are you two ready? We could make it into town tonight and have a hotel room by morning." Erik turned and mounted his brown and white stallion. I climbed aboard my brown mare and my mother rode her cream yellow mare.

I told my two companions, "I think I'll name my horse Brise', after my favorite ballet position." My mother smiled and Erik nodded. He patted his horse and said, "This will be Aries, God of War." My mother nodded to Erik and announced, "I'll call my horse Cleopatra."

She gave no explanation as to why she chose that name, but some inner knowledge between Erik and her abounded. We rode into the night.

**Ann: **It was an unusual three days, but we finally made it to Italy, and a warm hotel room. I could not believe, after losing my home and job in a treacherous fire, and losing my husband to that same cause of fire many years before, I was still with him. Meg appeared to be getting along quite well with Erik, and he appeared to enjoy her company.

I wondered if the events in Paris could have been stifled, if only I had allowed some interaction between the two. Indeed, Meg appeared to be easing Erik away from his obsessive love for Christine, although I knew he still burned for her. I watched as they placed our horses in the hotel stable, and together we walked to the room.

There were two beds and a chaise, along with a private bathroom. Erik wrinkled his nose in distaste at the chamberpot, while I asked the bell-hop for some hot bathing water. We each shared the room in turns, completing our toiletries. Erik was looking out the window at the streets below, while Meg adjusted her bonnet.

I asked, "Where shall we go first?" Meg replied, "I'm rather famished." Erik turned from the window and told us, "After breakfast, if you two wish to separate that would be fine." I caught the sarcasm in his voice. He expected me to keep Meg close at hand, as I had done for so many years.

I knew Erik had watched protectively over Meg from a distance, but I decided to put that gaurdianship to the test. "Meg, if you wish to join Erik you may. I myself will spend a nice day on the shoreline." Meg's eyes shone at her first chance to be away from my hovering presence.

I walked close to her and whispered silently, "Watch his hands, be sure he does not pickpocket." Meg nodded and Erik came over to us. "Ann, you may trust me. Have a wonderful excursion, take this if you want anything." He handed me some Italian bills that he had exchanged. I realized that it was more than enough money.

We walked out of the hotel together, from whence I went left while Meg and Erik went right.


	5. Onward To Rome

**Meg:** For the first time in my life my mother was not going to hover over me. Not only that, but she was allowing me to go with a man such as Erik. It was unusual, deceitful almost. I looked back to make sure my mother wasn't following us in the shadows, but no, she was really gone. Erik was examining the map, and I fell into step with him.

It was the first time I'd ever been actually been out of Paris, and I relished the countryside. We spent the day looking at buildings, and Erik told me all about how hard stonemason's worked to create the arches and columns. I'd never realized how interesting architecture really was. We visited a museum later on, and had lunch at a small bistro.

Erik was trying to teach me Italian, but I had a hard time grasping the unfamiliar tounge. Late in the afternoon we walked along the boulevard, discussing all that we had seen. We saw my mother walking along the boulevard, and caught up to her.

My mother came towards us holding two fans. "Here, your cheeks are flushed." She handed me one and we three walked along; only then did I realize the fans weren't for fanning ourselves in the cool Italian breeze, but for hiding Erik's mask by waving them on ourselves slightly in front of him.

He made no comment, and we stopped to watch a street performer. After we gave the man a few generous tips we visited a small theater; where Erik and my mother quietly translated the plot for me. Afterwords we went to a small restaurant, and as always we sat far away from the other customers in a shadowy table.

Erik and I continued to practice my Italian and my mother helped. After we returned to our room we each used the bathroom, and Erik nodded for me to come outside. My mother didn't seem to mind, and I followed. He led me around back and I began to feel uneasy. All during the day I had felt safe and content, actually enjoying the time we spent together.

Yet now, in the darkness, I was agitated. Erik soon dispelled this agitation, however, when he asked me "See how the position of the stars has changed since we left France? The only star that retains it's latitude position is that one." He pointed to a bright white star and I smiled. He had wanted me to accompany him in his star-gazing!

I asked, "Is that the north star?" He nodded and pointed to a small cluster of stars next to that, "Always follow that North Star if your lost. Those stars next to it change depending on your current direction." He pointed each way and said, "North, East, South, West." I asked him more questions and we spent a good while talking about astronomy.

When we returned to the room my mother was already asleep. Erik whispered to me, "I actually had a good time today. Perhaps tomorrow we can tour the country. I would like to draw."

I nodded and whispered back, "That would be fun. Goodnight Erik." He whispered back, "Goodnight Meg." I curled up next to my mother and fell asleep.

**Erik:** Three weeks flew by in astounding speed. I spent the days with Meg touring all about the Italian countryside. I drew the gorgeous fields, the lush foilage that grew alongside ancient homes, and the marvelous buildings along the boulevards.

We visited the many Piazzos, the astonishing work of Michelangelo, and the islands with connecting canals that made up Venice. I even ventured a small trip with Ann and Meg along the canals, and Meg held my hand as we floated along.

Ann would meet us in the late afternoon, and together the three of us explored all that Italy had to offer. I had never felt so content, so peaceful.

Of course there were times when I thought of Christine, many times, and I wondered how Raoul was taking care of her. I wondered where they had gone for their honeymoon, and if Christine was actually happy.

I tried not to show my inner feelings, and in Italy, it was easy to lose myself within it's beauty. It was true that second to France, Italy was my favorite country. None of the people that saw us were too cruel in their stares, and I only heard one jest about me as we walked along. Ann's constant fluttering fan made me feel quite secure, and Meg's presence by my side assured that no person would look twice in the direction of an eccentric man and his young companion.

We visited museums, theaters, parks, and beaches. Late at night when Ann was asleep I would take Meg out and teach her about Astronomy. Mark's Square was the best place to go for a glimpse at the stars, and I would gladly answer all of Meg's questions. The only places I would not enter into presence were the magnificent, marvelous churches that rose so majestically into the sky.

I was still afraid of my sins, and the fear that God had abandoned me. It took all that I had to draw them from a distance, and I refused to look too closely. Finally, after a week, I decided to travel further.

Ann asked if I still planned to visit The Vatican, and I nodded yes. I did indeed want to see the architecture of Rome, and I wanted to glimpse the structures of the most holy place on Earth.

It didn't matter if I burned up into smoke at my first step into the Great Square, I was going to see it. We hitched up our horses and rode south.

**Ann:** Ah, Italy! The smell of the fresh salty air, mingled with the scent of hot spices. The sights of the vineyards, the beautiful, luscious hills and green pastures.I had become comfortable with Meg and Erik's friendship, and it allowed me some time to do my own personnel reflections.

I would spent the mornings walking along the beaches, exploring the boulevards, and sipping a few wines. For nearly twenty years I had been shut up inside that Opera, teaching tiny brats the monotonous steps of Ballet. I had been Erik's cohort, his puppet on a string, and now I was able to escape those pressures and release my spirit into the intoxicating beauty that was Italy.

I even felt myself feeling rather giddy when a young, handsome man told me I was quite a lovely and gorgeous French-woman. In the late afternoons and early evenings I would catch up with Meg and Erik, and they would tell me about their day. We watched street performers and peddlers, and enjoyed ourselves immensely.

I did begin to wonder, however, where Erik took Meg every night. I was of course surprised to find that Meg had an interest in Astronomy, and I felt there was no need to stifle her curiosity. So long as Erik remained a gentleman. That was my only fear, my worry that never went away. Megan was quite a young woman now, and in the prime of her health.

Of course I wanted a fine marriage for her, and I wouldn't have minded if she met some nice Italian man. It was only that during our entire time in northern Italy she never left Erik's side, and never ventured off by herself.

They would ride their horses side by side, and I once caught Meg grasping Erik's hand in the canals of Venice, although he appeared uncomfortable.

All together, when we rode off towards Rome, a gnawing sensation began to manifest within me.


	6. Rome

**Erik: **It is strange, how people and society are in general. When I travel alone I will receive taunts, stares, and ridicule; yet when I travel with Ann and Meg people tend to stay quiet, although they do stare. It's as if they can't believe such beautiful women would be friends with such an unusual man.

I myself find it strange that they have not left yet, but rather are pressing onward with me. They know they have the opportunity to stay, I am not holding them hostage.

We reached Rome after two sun-soaked and breezy days, only to have the clouds open and rain begin. We were drenched when we reached a hotel, and immediately paid for two weeks advancement.

If we planned to stay longer we could pay more, and if we left early we could just get our money back. We spent the soggy day in our rooms, talking and laughing. I must say Meg is quite vivacious and interesting. Ann, on the other hand, is aloof and formidable, although it is easy to break her defenses when one trys.

After we were ready for bed Ann consulted the maps. I didn't know where I wanted to start; Rome is so full of history and architecture. Etruscan tombs, Imperial temples, early Christian churches, medieval bell towers, Renaissance palaces and baroque basilicas. Above all, The Coliseum.

Meg suggested that since I was uneasy about the Vatican that perhaps her and her mother could visit that while I bouyed about in other districts. I immediately shot that idea down. In no way was I going to be seen out in public without one of my lady escorts. I wasn't comfortable by myself, open and vulnerable to the public eye.

Of course I did not tell this to Meg, but rather explained that I did want to see the Vatican, and she must surly want to visit the Pantheon and The Forum, and many other important Roman places. They agreed, and we went to bed.

Or rather, they went to bed while I stayed up late, tossing and turning, and finally losing myself in a book until early morning.

**Ann: **Rome is so full of ancient history, beautiful buildings, and opulent wealth. We visited the Vatican, although we did not see the Pope. It was over flung with priceless art, lavish designs, and the most gorgeous marble floors.

I prayed with Meg upon that floor, while Erik stood away and drew on his papers. I hoped that someday, somehow, Erik would find God, or some form of him. Any religion was better than none at all.

We visited many other buildings; the Castel Sant' Angelo bridge, Capitoline Hill, the seat of the government, and the many piazza's and museums that lined Rome's vast city. We ended up staying for over a month, but my careful financial planning and tracking kept our massive fortune from dwindling away.

No matter how beautiful Rome was, it was damn expensive. After we had exhausted the many roads and paths, even taking a short tour through the ruins of Pompeii, we decided to head off.

I asked Erik where we were going next, but he pointed to Meg, who told me Switzerland. I figured that was a nice country, but I asked how long it would take us to get there. According to Erik's planning, it would take us nearly a month to transverse across Italy into Slovenia, and another month to travel across that country into Switzerland.

Two months. Two months of back-breaking work for the horses, and two months of constant, wearying travel. It was no wonder then that less than two weeks after Erik returned from his trip Ceaser had passed on.

That old horse had not had the strength for such a journey; I doubted our young horses even did. But we tested them anyway, as we packed our belongings and left the soft, gentle city of Rome.

**Meg:** Our month in Rome was delightful. Every sight, every building, was marvelous. Erik showed us all around the historical city, taking us here and there. It was a constant whirlwind of activity, but I loved every moment.

I believe my mother was tired, however. She wasn't as young as I, nor as energetic. Erik, on the other hand, showed no signs of stopping. That wasn't unusual, after all, he had been locked away under the Opera for so long it must have been heaven to stretch his feet.

We spent our days traveling Rome, and our nights traveling the stars. Erik bought me a book on astronomy, and I learned all there was to know. We would spend hours in the night reading and searching the sky, and I learned much more than astronomy. We would talk as well, about many things.

Erik confided in me, and I too confided in him. He told me about Christine, his frustrations and sorrows; and I would tell him about my mother's relentless presence.

Together we would gossip, talk, or often simply stare into the sky as we sat side by side, each lost within our thoughts. Erik was a kind and gentle man, and I realized I was beginning to have feelings for him. I kept them to myself however, for I knew his heart only belonged to one woman.

Rather, I suggested that after Rome, if he was interested, we could travel to Switzerland. He wondered if my mother would appreciate being dragged once more to another place.

I told him she would have to deal with it; I wanted to explore, and so did Erik. We weren't going to let Antoinette tie us down.


	7. Slovenia

**Authors Note: The seventh chapter and no reviews? Is it that bad? Anyway, this chapter is sort of a "fan-fic" thing. I do realize it's OOC but not really, considering all that has happened so far. Remember, this story and "Memories of a Different Past" were based on Joel Shumacher's film, not Leroux/Kay. So of course Erik is based on Gerard Butler. Not the real Phantom. **

**  
Ann:** There is nothing more frightening in this world than the fear of being alone. I myself would be quite lost without Meg. We both know that Erik is utterly lost without Christine.

He tosses in his sleep, from one side to the other, and mumbles meaningless words. His frantic scrambling around in the day only serves to keep his mind busy, and those long hours in the evening with my daughter do nothing to calm his nerves. I tried to talk to him too, to care and comfort him.

It seemed a futile effort, for every day he appeared more melancholy than the day before. I saw him now, talking beside me as we rode past vineyards and dusty paths. The Italian countryside may have been enchanting to Meg and I, but for Erik, he was lost within his own mind.

I knew Meg was becoming entranced by Erik; I had seen that look many times before, and yet, Erik showed no other sign other than friendly affection, and I was worried for my little girl's heart. We slept out under the stars, even in the pouring rain, and wondered up through Italy each day.

We stopped every once in a while, but mostly we rode on. I came to appreciate the wearisome jobs of the merchants that we passed. They traveled from country to country every day, struggling to survive as they sold their merchandise and loaded up more to sell elsewhere. Of course the journey was not all bad. The scenery as we passed Italy was breathtaking. We took the back roads and deserted alleys to avoid cruel passerby.

Of course Erik's appearance was not too phenomenal, albeit his white porcelain mask. People still have a tendency to be cruel, and it was better to be safe than sorry. We traveled for nearly a month out of Italy, taking our time. We didn't really have any hurry, and I don't believe any of us three were in a rush to leave the Italian countryside.

I enjoyed the view, Meg and Erik enjoyed each other's company, and we pressed on.

**Meg:** The journey out of Italy was spectacular. We took the long, deserted paths and empty roads so to avoid curious passerby. We still encountered people, but they were not at all cruel; just curious.

Erik himself appeared to have no discomfort, at least physically. Emotionally; he was distressed, wounded, and agonized. I tried to comfort him; talking to him in the long evenings or during our travels upon the road.

My mother talked to him as well, and together we worked to help Erik out of his struggles and depressions. After nearly four weeks of relentless travel, encountering many different people and ever-changing scenery, we reached Slovenia.

The land wasn't much different than Italy, but when I commented on this Erik replied. "You don't expect there to be a large blue line across the road as there is on the map, do you?"

I shrugged. I didn't really know what to expect. I'd never even heard much about Slovenia, other than that it was next to France and across from Italy. Now, I wanted to learn about it.

The history, the government type, and the rich culture of the land.

I wasn't to learn until halfway across to Switzerland that Slovenia was mainly a barren, wild-grass country with crumbling castles and failing villages.

**Erik:** Another wonderful, beautiful country. Slovenia. I liked this country most of all for it's quiet solitude. Unlike Italy, Slovenia was a quiet, hardly-populated area with many ancient landmarks.

Once grand castles stood now in the distance crumbling into decadent decay. Tombs of warriors shared tombs with peasants, and the great fields of flowers sorounded us in multitudes.

Of course Ann and Meg were not impressed when we began our journey across. We stopped for a rest while Ann checked our supplies. "It's going to be hard with provisions if there aren't any towns here." She remarked.

I replied, "Yes, we'll have to be conservative since the only few villages here won't be able to share."

Meg sat beside me and asked, "Is there anything of interest here?" I waved my hands across the unobstructed blue sky. "Wait till tonight." She shrugged and waved her fan. I petted Aries as he nibbled at the sweet grass.

I reached out and picked a small dandelion, which I handed to Meg. "In no time I promise we'll be in Switzerland." I told her. She smiled and put the flower in her travel purse.

She had begun to keep a small bag beside her which she filled with unusual objects, including quartz stones and four-leaf clovers.

Ann came beside us and looked out over the field. "Well, I guess we'll just head in that direction."

I looked at my compass and nodded. "We can't make any wrong turns, it would be too easy to get lost. Head north and we should be fine."

We each climbed onto our horses and rode off.

**Ann: **Slovenia, for all it's dullness, was indeed a quaint country. We passed no towns but only small groups of huts and random traveling people. The fields of wildflowers gave way to fields of clovers, and back to wildflowers. Trees grew sparse in the wilderness, and at night we lay uncovered beneath the stars.

Of course Meg was delighted to find that she could see everything without such nusiances obscuring her vision. Erik even suggested buying a telescope sometime, but I reminded him that we would have to drag it with us everywhere we went.

The truth was, we had been gone from France for nearly seven months, and what we had with us, was all we had. We were like a band of gypsies; here, there and gone tomorrow. Our journey was teaching us all many different things, but we each had learned one important lesson.

Life was not worth living unless it was lived. You couldn't sit around and wait for things to happen, you had to make it happen. I loved my companions, and I loved the journey, even if it was wearisome.

**Meg: **Slovenia's only redeeming quality from it's dull boredom was the cool nights and beautiful sky. Even in the rain I would stand outside Erik's makeshift rain tent until my mother screamed at me to get inside.

I loved how the stars spilled out across the air, forming patterns and swirling across the heavens. I looked for the planets but was disappointed. A telescope would have been nice, but mother was right in saying it was too much trouble to drag one along with us.

My main interest in the stars was that of curiosity. Were we the only ones in this vast galaxy? Was Earth the only populated planet, or were there more?

Erik told me he did belive in other life, and of other populated planets. He tried to explain some complicated tale of genetics and chromosomes, but I was lost and confused, so he did not continue. I asked about other technology, about electricity and telephones, and Erik was glad to discuss such things with me.

I actually felt sorry for Christine; for she was stuck with that dull and stagnant Raoul while I was out in a field in Slovenia with an interesting and knowledgeable man.

The days and nights passed quickly, and only once did we encounter anything resembling a town. It was really just a small group of huts with a center, but it was better than the nothingness we had encountered for nearly two and a half weeks.

My mother and I restocked our empty canteens and washed our clothes with the other ladies, while Erik bathed the horses and checked on the other supplies. I came back from the stream with my mother and stopped.

"Come on Megan." My mother snapped as she took the clothes from my arms and walked over to our luggage bags.

Erik was washing Cleopatra without his shirt on, and cooing into her ear as he leaned over her. His body was taunt and lean, and his trousers were soaked with water and soap.

I felt myself blushing as I heard my mother again, "Get over here now!" I obediently walked over to the luggage and Erik looked at me.

I averted my gaze and he asked, 'Is something wrong?" I nodded no because my tounge was tied within my mouth. My mother came over to Cleopatra and began to rinse her off.

She told Erik, "As you requested I did not clean your clothes. Now go and do that and put a shirt on." I couldn't help but giggle when I realized my own mother was also blushing. Erik looked confused and I wondered if he did not realize his effect upon us. Truly he was a handsome man, save for that one side of his face.

Now, here in the stables with his muscular chest and tight legs covered in soapy water, he was honestly drop down irresistible. My mother continued Erik's job and I walked towards him. "I could help." I said quietly, but my mother shouted from only four feet away, "Get over here Megan Giry and brush Brise's mane!"

One of the village men checked on us to see what the screaming was for, but only shrugged and left us. I watched in fascination as Erik reached down and picked up his clothes, then walked out of the stables.

My mother was glaring at me as I picked up a brush and began to comb my horse, noting that Erik had done an exceptionally through job of cleaning.

**Erik: **I had no idea what the commotion was when Ann and Meg returned. I had been cleaning our horses and was finishing with Cleopatra when Ann began shouting at Meg.

I turned only to find Meg blushing and looking down. Of course I knew I wasn't being appropriate, with my shirt off and covered in water; but really, what did she expect me to do when cleaning two mares and a stallion? Ann, on the other hand, was being harsh, and that was to be expected.

I knew she enjoyed my body, there had been times when she'd told me I was rather handsome, and now, of course, she wanted to keep her precious daughter away from me. I myself was neither interested in either of the girls, but only wished that Christine had given me that look of utter desire that flashed through Meg's sparkling eyes.

I walked away towards the stream to clean my own clothes and endured several chattering village girls on my way.

I had never had any idea how impressive I might be while living at the Opera; but now my journey through Italy and Slovenia had made me realize that many of the feminine eyes that watched me were not of hatred or fear but of appreciation.  
Even a few men in Italy had given me that roaming eye. None of this mattered to me, honestly.

My heart was shattered at the thought that Christine had never given me a chance; that she had run away at the first sight of my ugly face. I wondered how she may have felt if I'd shown up in her dressing room one night, rather than singing to her for so many years?

Of course it was not only my face that had frightened Christine, but my actions. My years of deceit and lies, and my murderous rage that had caused me to kidnap her and attempt to kill her fiance.

It was everything really, all boiled down to the fact that Christine was now a Vicomptess with her Vicompte, and I was in a village washing horses.


	8. The Night

**Ann: **We left the village two days later, after a much needed rest for both us and the horses. We continued our journey north to Switzerland, traveling through the vast, empty fields of Slovenia. I had begun to enjoy the quiet solitude of that country, taking time to relax and think deep thoughts.

I did, however, notice that Erik and Meg were using that time to enjoy each other's company. I was afraid, deep down, because I did not want to lost my precious daughter to the same man I had lost my husband to so long ago. Of course I knew Erik would never harm her, I trusted him with that.

It was the knowledge that Meg was young, energetic, and losing her heart to a man whose heart had already been taken. I did not want to see her hurt, and I began to wonder, if, after our trip in Switzerland, we should turn around and settle back into France.

I wasn't tired physically; in fact I was more healthy than I'd ever been; but I was tired of the constant worry, the fear that slowly crept into my mind as I watched Meg holding Erik's hand while they trotted along beside me.

**Meg:** After my mother's harsh reprimand at the village I kept myself slightly away from Erik. I tried to be as docile and friendly as possible, but it took all I had not to leap into his strong arms and hug him.

He seemed more troubled these days, fidgeting and nervous. I threw myself into astronomy, drawing out constellations and making personal records. I enjoyed it, and I enjoyed the nights that Erik spent with me. We would talk while my mother slept, of things gone by and things to come.

He slowly opened up, bit by bit, but after nearly nine month's of knowing him I really didn't know him at all. I, of course, chatted about every small, insignificant detail; yet Erik seemed content to listen.

During the days we would ride through fields of wildflowers, and I would often try to hold his hand in affection. He remained stiff, almost uncomfortable, but I knew in time he would warm. I didn't expect anything more than platonic friendship between us; yet I was beginning to feel something more.

**Erik:** We rested at the village for two days, then continued our journey towards Switzerland. After Ann's outburst at Meg, Meg appeared subdued. She hardly talked to me while her mother was around; yet at night when Ann slept she would open herself up. I enjoyed listening to Meg; but I rarely let anything slip about my horrid past.

I merely mentioned small bits to keep her content; but I wasn't ready to talk, not about my childhood. She tried to be affectionate towards me; holding my hand and often reaching out to me. No one had ever done that, not even Christine. I didn't really know how to react, so I simply let it happen. In time she would understand that I was not the affectionate type.

At night we would wander through the fields, glancing at the stars and talking. She was a sweet companion, energetic and chipper; quite a contrast to my disconsolate apathy. I found Ann, on the other hand, to be overbearing and protective. She would talk to me, and yet I found myself less and less interested.

There had been a time, so long ago, when Ann had been my best and only friend. Now, it seemed as if she were more a monarch, and I the peasant. It made me angry, yet I tried hard to control that anger. There was no need, in the green grass of Slovenia, to fight.

**Ann: **Erik was becoming more melonchaly, and no matter how I tried to engage him in conversation he would eventually become bored. I realized that during our time at The Opera we had become distant, shut off from each other.

I also realized, to my dismay, that our friendship had deteriated to a mere aquaintance.. Meg, on the other hand, didn't appear botherd at all. I dare say she was having the time of her life, jumping Brise or racing along the feilds.

I wondered if the constant isolation of Slovenia had perhaps warped her senses. I also speculated that her high spirits were due to her young, innocent heart becoming infatuated with first love.

**Meg:** It was becoming colder as we neared Switzerland. Erik had warned us that the Swiss climate was much colder than our native France. I wasn't prepared, however, for the actual shock of two majestic, snow-topped mountains to rise up in the distance.

Erik nodded, "Those are the Swiss Alps. I believe the two we see now are Mount. Monte Rosa and Mount. Weisshorn." I gaped at them. Then I asked my mother, "Could we climb them?"

She gave me a look of utter disbelief. Erik, however, replied. "Only if you think you can handle it. The highest peaks are over 4,000 feet high. I do believe, however, that we can ski, if you'd like."

My mother looked quizzically at Erik, "Just what is Skiing and how much danger is involved?" I laughed at my mother's indignation. I didn't care if she was worried about my safety.

I had never even seen a mountain up close, and I was determined to enjoy them. As we trode our horses along Erik explained the concept of Skiing. It sounded exciting and adventurous. If I didn't climb a mountain, I would certainly ski down one.

**Erik: **Ann was shocked at the concept of Skiing. Meg, I believe, was absolutely enthralled. It was amazing how different the two were, in every aspect. I checked the map, and then tried to think of what else I knew about Switzerland.

I had never been there, but I had read about it. I remembered that Switzerland was also known for it's Health and Wellness Centers. I explained them to Ann, but she smiled and replied, "That's called a Spa, Erik." She seemed to be interested in them, however, and I decided to find one for her.

Meg didn't appear interested in them, but she did want to know about hiking and other excursions. I myself was more interested in finding someone who could speak French, for none of us could understand Swiss.

We traveled north, and I estimated that within two days we would cross the border into Switzerland.

**Ann:** Under no circumstances was I going to allow Meg near any mountain. Not even a tall hill. I had frightening images of her falling, or hurting herself somehow. I was leery of her interest in hiking, for it is simply another word for climbing. I blamed Erik for interesting her in such nonsense.

Of course he did also mention that there were several spa's in Switzerland. A good massage sounded perfect, and I wondered how different Swiss treatments might be from European ones.

We made camp under a rare tree, while Meg gazed into the distance at the two mountains. Erik circled a few spots on one of his maps, and began to study another. We had eaten, and I began to drift off.

**Erik:** If Ann would not allow Meg to come, I would do it myself; there was a large mountain called Mount. Leismad that sounded beautiful. I did want to see how far I could climb, perhaps not to the top but at least far enough to see the stars closer. I knew if I did this Meg would be insanely jealous, but I would never go against Ann's wishes.

I planned to find a nice vacation spa for the two girls, and give them at least a week of pure pampered treatment. Of course Ann was not going to stop her daughter entirely, Switzerland was too full of wonderful trails and places to explore.

She could not keep Meg under lock and key for her whole life. I marked a few interesting destinations, and made a small note to find a tour phamplet somewhere when we reached the first Swiss village. The closest town I could find was nearly seventy miles away, but that map was also five years old. Perhaps Switzerland had changed since then.

I folded everything back up and noticed Ann asleep. Meg and Brise were nowhere within our vicinity, but I trusted her to come back. I smoothed out a blanket and laid down, gazing at the stars.

**Meg:** I took Brise and went for a small walk. I wondered how the world looked from such a high mountain. They must have been large for us to see them from where we were.

Later I went back to our camp and let Brise wonder over to Aries and Cleopatra. I fell asleep next to my mother.

Sometime in the middle of the night I awoke to the sounds of someone gasping. I realized Erik was tossing in his sleep again, and I sat up. He slept a few feet away from us, and I began to walk towards his trembling body. He always did this, in fact I should have been more worried if he were peacefully asleep.

He was mentioning someone's name, and I leaned down. His voice shook as he mumbled, "Stop, please stop." He turned over and I stepped back. His breathing resumed it's normal pace, but I saw a small tremor pass through his spine. I reached out and placed my hand on his back, and he shook.

I was afraid I'd woken him, but he was still asleep as he sobbed, "Don't hit..don.." I glanced over at my mother, who slept peacefully. Slowly I bent down, and kept my hand on Erik's back. I sat there as he twitched his legs, and then, gently, I laid down on my side. Suddenly he turned over again, and I jumped up.

He trembled, and I figured it was best to leave him alone. I reached down once more, to pat him gently on the side. He lay still when I did, and I kept my hand still. Tenderly I sat down again, and watched as his legs twitched again.

I began to lay down, inch by inch, until I was beside his back, holding his waist with my hand. Suddenly I heard him mumble, "Christine." He was asleep, and in his nightmarish fever believed me to be his beloved.

My heart broke a bit, and yet I ignored it. Erik needed someone to comfort him, and Christine was not here to do so. I gently lay beside him, our bodies separated by only a few inches, and tenderly held my hand against his side.

He did not fidget anymore, and I found myself slipping into slumber.

**Erik:** I dreamt of Christine. I dreamt that she came to me one night, and held me. It was wonderful, and I found myself awaking.

When I did awake I found myself alone in a field, while Meg cooked breakfast. Ann began to awake as well, and we ate quietly. Meg seemed more shy around me than usual, and I lost myself in conversation with Ann.

After all day and night of traveling, we arrived at a small village. No one spoke any dialogue we knew, although one man had a scattered English vocabulary.

He directed us towards a town, south, and we headed off, to discoverSwitzerland.


	9. Switzerland

**Erik:** We arrived at the town, which was more like a crowded country village than a city, and immediately began to search for a hotel. The streets were crowded with people going in both directions, on both sides, and we had trouble navigating.

Both Ann and Meg were exceptionally tired, and I saw Ann nodding off on her horse. Finally we came to a small, blue Inn with a straw-thatched roof. "How quaint" Meg said.

We each slid off our horses and tried to find a stable, until the door opened and a little boy shouted to us, "Momma just ties the horses to the trees, there isn't anywhere else. Are you three looking for a room?"

Ann smiled and replied in English, "Is your mother inside?" The boy held the door open as Meg and Ann entered. I went around back and tied our horses to a tree. There was a long trench with water, and hay strewn about.

Several other horses rested as well. I went inside and saw Ann speaking to a young woman. "Of course we don't have much else. It's just my home, but I'm trying to make some extra money." Meg motioned to me and whispered, "The lady lost her job a few weeks ago. She's offering her home as an Inn, but I don't understand the currency."

I nodded, then reached into my pocket. "Mademoiselle, can you direct me to the nearest bank so I may exchange these bills?" The lady gave me directions, and I asked how many rooms were available. Her home had seven bedrooms open with people staying in three, and two living rooms, with three outhouses in the back.

"Would you and your wife like one bedroom and your daughter in another?" The lady suddenly asked. I looked at her quizzically while Ann chuckled, and Meg coughed to hide a laugh. "Er, we're not actually...could we get three bedrooms separate?" I knew it wasn't proper for a man to be with a young widow and her daughter unless he were an uncle, brother, or cousin of sorts.

I myself was merely a strange man with two women, and I didn't want to arouse suspicion. The lady shrugged and I told her I would come back with the correct Swiss currency. Meg and Ann began to drag our luggage to the rooms.

**Ann:** The lady's comment had startled me, and I began to wonder just how our group might look to other people. Of course we didn't want to lie, but we also didn't want people to start gossiping.

Meg's room was next to mine and Erik's was across the hall. It was a cozy, if small, accommodation, and I rather liked having a bed with pillows again. Two months of sleeping under trees and on grass had worn me out, and I happily laid on the bed looking at the ceiling.

Meg came in and laughed. "Mother, it's nearly two in the afternoon. I'm rather hungry." I sat up and adjusted my skirt, then replied. "I suppose we could get a bite. Although I'd rather like to rest." Erik appeared in the door and quietly nodded. He did not enter but asked, "Which room will be mine?"

Meg turned and pointed to his door. "Thank you. I have new currency, would you both like to sight-see a bit and get some food?" Meg nodded but I said ,"No, I just want to sleep. Megan, you must behave if I let you go out. There will be no slyness or shenanigans. Erik, you keep an eye on her and don't let her go to those mountains. Oh, what am I saying! Just don't get into trouble, either of you."

Meg smiled but I knew her mind was going a mile a minute. "Mother, rest, and when we return you'll feel better." Erik nodded and walked away. Meg closed the door and I muttered. "I should go with them." Truthfully, I was afraid for both of them.

Erik was not a social person, and the people of Switzerland were not only many, but those many appeared to be friendly, talk-to-the-stranger type of people. I knew he would feel uncomfortable, and as for Meg, I knew her curiosity and willfulness would lead her astray.

In Italy I had been slightly comfortable, knowing that they were a civilized, quiet country. But Switzerland was crowded and barely built. All around this industrial town was forest, pure forest and mountains, with the ability to lose a person in less than two minutes. As the afternoon wore on I finally fell alseep.

**Meg:** We closed the door for my mother and proceeded out. Erik was walking beside me and I opened my fan in front of him. As we talked we passed many people, often bumping into them. The streets were filthy and small dogs ran amock in the crowd.

Switzerland, for all it's beauty and pleasantness, had been hit hard by the Industrial Revolution. Tiny villages had been swept up into large cities without the proper necessities to hold so many people.

Erik and I walked along, admiring the stores and street vendors, and discussing what we planned to do. I made it clear that I was not interested in some dull spa; I wanted to hike, to explore, and to experience. Erik, however, would not go against my mother's wishes, and if I wanted to do anything, I would have to discuss it with her.

We were enjoying ourselves until we turned a corner. A long boulevard stretched out and we bustled past people until we heard a shout, "Hey mister, you got a zit or what? Whats with the stupid mask?" Two young boys, not much older than the landlady's, were laughing directly at us. I took Erik's arm haughtily and we walked off, ignoring them.

Suddenly I felt a small rock hit me, and Erik whipped around, but I grabbed him before he could harm the boys. I pulled him inside a small store and he glared out the window. The boys were gone, and he looked at me. "That was unnecessary. I can handle myself you know." I shook my head, "I know how you handle yourself."

I had been worried Erik might strangle the boys, or done something equally damaging. We heard the shopkeepers voice behind us, "Can I help you?" I looked around the store and smiled. Erik began to examine the chocolates on the shelves, and I looked at the Swiss chocolates under the cabinet.

The shopkeeper smiled, "Finest chocolate store in Switzerland. If you have any questions, I can answer them." Erik had pulled down a small box of white chocolate mints, and I picked up a box of chocolate dipped strawberries. I asked the man for two pecan-encrusted chocolate bars for my mother.

We paid the man generously and he thanked us. Erik placed the packages in his cloak and I whispered, "Do you think we can get somewhere away from this crowd?" He nodded and we began to make our way towards a small park.

However, the park wasn't any less dense than the boulevards, and we continued our journey into the woods. There was a small stream along a wide rock outcropping, and we sat down. Several other people sat around us, but not too close.

Erik pulled out our packages and asked, "Would you like me to go get something more substantial?" I shrugged; chocolate was fine by me.

**Erik: **I never thought I had claustrophobia until I visited Switzerland. After our long journey through a barren Slovenia, the sudden pressing crowd was an uncomfortable change. Switzerland was a large country with few towns or cities, and far too many people to live in those towns and cities.

Only a handful lived out in the wilderness. Things had been alright when we'd first arrived, but after walking with Meg along the streets I had begun to get agitated.

Adding to that the incident with the young boys, and I was positively fuming. They had been no older than the boys in the gypsy camp, who used to tease and taunt me within my cage. I had wanted to strangle them, or at lease give them a good spanking; and only Meg's incessant pulling had saved them.

It was true, I was grateful towards Meg for ending my anger. I remembered the scene in Frankenstein when the young woman had cried for help and the villagers had come running, with pitchforks and torches

I did not want to start a riot in that crowd. Luckily we ran into a chocolate store, and I knew if anything made anybody feel better, it was chocolate. Meg and I made our way over to a small park, and a quiet stream.

Of course we had had nothing to eat for quite awhile, and chocolate was not an entire meal; but Meg seemed alright, and we ate while we talked. She was still adamant about not going to a spa, and I didn't know how Ann would react.

I never wanted to go against her wishes, especially those concerning her daughter. We enjoyed our time by the stream, and I realized I was beginning to feel more comfortable talking to Meg.

I began to open up, telling her about my childhood, and my cruel mother. I had never discussed it with anyone, not even Ann, and I began to feel lighter, almost as if a rock had been lifted from my shoulder.

Meg did not judge, she merely listened, and I felt better. We saved the rest of our chocolates and decided to take a walk.

We passed the outcropping into a thick undergrowth, and Meg smiled. I knew she was an adventurous sort, not the kind to stay in one place for very long, and I knew that no pampering treatment could hold her attention like a mountain expedition would.

However, I would only do what Ann wanted, even if it made Meg angry. I was not her father, and I had no right to allow her anything her mother did not want.

Unless her mother was not there.


	10. fight

**Ann: **When I awoke from my nap I found the young landlady with her friends playing a strange game. They called it Mah-Jhong and said it came from the far east. I began to talk to them and learn the game.

We were having tea when Meg and Erik returned. Meg came to me and gave me a small package. "Oh, you went to Shelton's Chocolate Store! Silly goose, I should have given you some money to buy me some too." The landlady laughed and Meg smiled.

Erik was eyeing the game board. "Do you ladies play Mah-Jhong?" He asked. Meg replied, "What is that?" Erik explained the concept and the ladies giggled. Two were gossiping in each others ear, but I paid no attention.

The landlady asked Meg and Erik to play in the next round, and we had quite a wonderful game. Later I asked what sort of restaurants they would recommend to us, and the ladies told us several. Erik thanked them for an enjoyable time, and we walked outside.

The air was colder and I shivered. "What did you two do today?' I asked. Meg replied, "We just went for a walk, stopped at a few stores, and visited a park." Erik nodded. We came to the restaurant and tried English for the host.

He didn't understand and Erik asked in Italian, but another man tapped him on his shoulder and the host moved aside. The man asked us in perfect French, "Three for a table? Would you like to sit on the veranda?"

Meg said yes and we followed the man. He told us, "I'm very sorry for Juen, he can only speak Swiss for now, but it is a requirement for our waiters and hosts that they speak multiple languages for the many tourists."

Erik nodded and I asked, "What sort of wine do you serve?" Meg nudged me and said "Mother." I smiled and looked at her, "We are on vacation." The host told us the many wines and champagnes they served, and I chose one.

I was sick of water and bread, which was all we had had during the last few days in Slovenia. I wanted something relaxing and pleasant. We ordered our dinner and discussed what we thought of Switzerland so far.

I had hardly seen it yet, but Erik and Meg kept shooting glances at each other. I finally asked, "Is there something you need to tell me?"

Meg examined her fork as if it were a priceless antique. Finally she spoke up, "Mother, I really don't want to go somewhere like a spa or some retreat. I'd rather, go camping. Hiking." I immediately shot that idea down. No way was I going to walk around some dirty forest and sleep another night under the stars.

I asked her if she wasn't tired of all that after our wilderness trek in Slovenia. Erik told me, "Switzerland is different." I retorted, "Yes. It has mountains."

Meg sighed and said, "Listen. I'm old enough to make my own decisions, and I don't want to do something just because you tell me to."

I slammed my glass down and looked at Meg. "You listen to me young lady. Your not old enough to go scampering about some unknown place in dangerous territory. I'm doing this for your own good. We leave tomorrow for the Preve Gstaad Center, and I'll be damned if you disobey me."

I saw Erik looking at me, and I glared at him. "You can do whatever you want to do. As long as no one gets hurt." Erik replied, "Meg will be hurt. Do you really think she'll be content to sit around with mud on her face?"

I looked at the view from our table. I didn't really want Meg to run off for a week without me knowing where she was. I certainly didn't want her climbing some mountain or hiking in some forest, and above all, I was still reserved about sending her away with Erik.

Although I trusted him with her, I knew that he often led her to do things I didn't feel were very ladylike. Being ladylike meant going to a spa, and receiving massages and manicures; not cajoling about the wilderness with a man. All I could see was one big fiasco. I looked at Meg, but she glanced away angrily.

I told her finally, "If I let you stay with Erik here, while I go there, what are your exact plans?" Meg replied, "I'm going to hike in the Treves Glade, and camp. Alright? I promise I will not go up the mountains." Erik looked at me and said, "I will keep her close and watch her. I'll even buy a dog leash if you'd like." I wanted to slap him for his little sarcasm.

Instead I pointed my finger in his face. "You had better keep her safe. Both from the elements and from you." Meg shook her head and asked, "What would he do to me? Honestly Mother, get off my back."

She stood up and walked towards the restrooms. Erik stood up as well and said, "Antoinette, the more you try to pull Meg closer, the more your pushing her away. Giver her some freedom; she'll respect you more."

He placed some money on the table and walked outside. I was stunned as the host came over and asked, "Any dessert? No. I'll come back with your change." I watched Meg emerge and walk towards the door.

Erik and her walked away down the street and I fumed angrily.

**Meg:** After our fight I ran to the restroom and sobbed. It was the first time I'd ever stood up to my mother, and it felt awful. I knew she was mad at me, but I was mad at her too.

All my life she had been watching over me like a hawk, smothering me with her protectiveness. All I wanted was a little independence, some space. I cried as I heard someone knocking on the door. "Someone's in here!" I screamed, a little too angrily.

I leaned against the wall and dabbed at my eyes with some paper. I threw it down the hole in the floor and walked out. I didn't even glance back at my mother, but I noticed Erik waiting just outside the door.

I walked past him and he followed quietly. I liked that about Erik, he was never a nuisance. He gave me my space and independence, but always brought me back if I went too far. We had gone hiking earlier that day, and I'd wanted to keep going, leaving the path.

Unlike my mother, who wouldn't have even let me past the wooden benches, he had allowed me to explore up to a point, and then pulled me back. Now he wasn't pressuring me, only following.

Neither of us spoke as I walked up a small boulevard, and turned left. I finally stopped and crossed my arms. Erik glanced at the sky and I told him, "I don't like fighting with her. She just. Won't let go."

Erik looked at me and nodded. "She can be a bit tough. But she's only doing what she thinks is right for you. She loves you." I nodded and looked up.

The clouds were covering the stars and nothing was visible. I looked back down the street and unfolded my arms. "I want to apologize." I began to walk and Erik strode beside me.

**Erik:** I had had nothing to do with Meg and Ann's fight. All I had told Meg was that she needed to discuss what she wanted to do while in Switzerland.

Of course Ann was relentless, she was afraid for her daughter. I could understand both of them, Ann's frustration at her daughter and Meg's frustration at her mother. Ann wanted to hold on to the child that Meg had once been, while Meg was ready to grow older and break free.

Both of them needed to set a limit between them, and while breaking away they needed to pull closer, and communicate more often. It had surprised me really; while in Italy Meg had been content to listen to her mother and obey, here in Switzerland she wanted to do the exact opposite.

I wondered if our time in Slovenia had changed her so much, or if it was a natural process of maturing. Meg was certainly not a child anymore, nearly seventeen and a young woman.

If we were still in France her mother would be scrambling about to find a young suitor. Of course, in our journey, we were all three together, and perhaps that tight confinement had broken the barriers between them.

Either way, I hoped that I was not the cause for such friction.


	11. After the Fight

**Ann: **I came back to the Inn in a rather depressive mood. My daughter had run off, and I was concerned as to where she had gone. Her argument earlier had made me realize that I was a bit over-protective.

I had a tendency to follow her everywhere, and constantly expect her to do what I told her to do. However, she was growing up, and I couldn't expect her to stay a child forever.

She had to experience things on her own, and I needed to let her go. The only problem was, could I? Could I let go of my only precious child, to let her explore at her own leisure?

I was afraid of what may happen, she was so vulnerable. Yet she was also willful, and stubborn. I knew deep in my heart that she could survive on her own.

Lost within my thoughts I didn't hear the knocking at my door until Meg's voice came through, "Mother, are you in there?" I came away from the window and opened the door.

Meg stepped in quietly and I watched as she looked at me. "Mother, I really didn't mean to make you angry. It's just, that I'd like to choose for myself what I want to do."

I replied, "I let you do what you wanted in Italy." She shook her head, "So why is this any different?" I sighed. How could I explain that Switzerland was an entirely different country?

In Italy they had civilization, culture, respect, and policemen to watch over the population. Here in Switzerland it was pure country, with an over-populated diversity of people who would do anything to get by.

"Meg. I just don't want to see you get hurt. I know you'll want to visit the ski lodges, and go hiking, and other such stuff. I'm worried." She replied, "I'll be with Erik." That was no consolation.

I honestly did not want to send her away with him. I had seen how she looked at him, her eyes glowing. I believe it was only the second time she'd had a crush on anyone, and Erik was not the type to developed a relationship with. For one, his heart belonged to another, and second, he was nearly my age; old enough to be Meg's father!

I asked her, "Don't you want to get a massage, and a small facial? How about a new dress? I mean, how much fun could you possibly have running about in some wilderness?" Meg's eyes lit up and I knew there was no possible way I could get her to come with me.

"Mother, I know Slovenia was no fun for you, but I enjoyed it. I love being outside, with the sky and the trees, and no amount of civilization anywhere. It's exciting." I found having no civilization around to be rather frightening.

"What if something happens. Who will help you two?" She bit her lip and I knew she was pouting. "Please?" I shook my head. "Answer my question."

Meg looked down and said, "If anything happens to either me or Erik, or us both, I'll make sure to get a message across." That was not an actual answer, and I knew she was skirting the issue.

I fidgeted, and looked at her. "Megan, you take care of yourself. Don't do anything irresponsible or foolish." She smiled at me and said rather excitedly, "Thank You."

Suddenly Meg ran to me and hugged me, and I hugged her back. I was letting go, for an entire week I would not see her or be able to watch her. It frightened me, and I held her tight.

When we let go I told her, "I love you. Please be careful." Meg nodded, "I love you too." She bounded out of the room, and I knew she was going to tell Erik. Whatever happened during this week was going to happen, whether I was there or not.

It was hard to deny that a true friendship had developed between Meg and Erik.

**Erik:** After we had returned from our walk Meg went to talk to her mother. I quietly entered my room and began looking at my maps. I planned to take Meg hiking through Treves Glade, up to the crest of Mount. Fav'lre.

There they had a small ski lodge where guides would take tourists up to the peak, and then send them sailing back down. It sounded quite exciting. As for Ann her route would take her thirty miles to the north, where the Preve Gstaad Center was located.

It was a luxury resort and spa, with quite a hefty bill. I began to wonder just how much of my money we had left. I was by no means poor, but neither was I exceedingly rich. I certainly wasn't as rich as a Vicompte.

Immediately I spit out the image of Christine and Raoul in my mind and focused on the map. I saw an interesting river two miles behind the Glade, but certainly I wasn't going to check it out.

Suddenly the door burst open and I jumped up with my Punjab Lasso ready. Meg stopped short of the threshold and I glared at her. "Never enter my domain unannounced." I put the weapon away and she came over to me.

"Mother said I could go. She's worried of course, but she'll be going her own way tomorrow and we can go our way." She looked at the map on the floor and pointed. "What's this?" I had circled the spot where the ski lodge was.

I handed her the paper that explained everything, and she squealed. "Quiet." I went over and closed the door. Meg was excited and rather giddy as she asked me, "You're really going to let me do this? What about Mother?"

I looked at her. "Didn't you just say she was going to allow it?" I realized that Ann had not given permission to go skiing, only to stay with me during the week. In my mind, if Ann was allowing her daughter to stay with me, then that gave me full permission to let the child do whatever she may want.

I sat beside Meg on the floor and folded the map. "You should pack lightly. We'll need to purchase some ski equipment and clothing tomorrow." Meg asked me, "How long will it take us to get there?"

I replied, "Only two days. We travel straight through Treves Glade; following the trail mind you, no going off to explore; and when we reach the lodge, a day of skiing, and then two days to get back." Meg was smiling and I had to chuckle. "You haven't been this excited since we left France." I said.

She nodded, "I've never done this before. I mean in Italy it was all "Looking at buildings and visiting museums," But here, and in Slovenia, it's been exploration, wilderness. I almost feel like Mary Kinglsey."

I agreed. "Or Lewis and Clark." Meg looked at me. "Who?" I looked back and replied, "American explorers. They traversed the entire country from east to west." She smiled and replied, "Then I'm Lewis and you're Clark." I finally smiled in almost three years as I said, "They were both men Meg."

She laughed and told me, "I have never seen you smile. You look nice when you smile." I glanced down as I nodded. "Life hasn't given me much to smile about." Meg asked me seriously, "Erik, are you happy doing this? Traveling with my mother and I?"

I didn't really know how I felt. I was indeed happier to get out of the Opera and into the fresh air. I enjoyed the traveling, I had certainly loved Italy, and indeed I was a bit more optimistic than before.

Being with Ann and Meg gave me a sense of security. They were there when I needed them, the only real friends I had ever known. I told Meg, "Your mother and yourself are the most compassionate, caring individuals I've met. Honestly, I don't think I could have come this far without someone beside me. I am most grateful for your companionship."

Meg said, "If it weren't for you I'd be stuck in France with my mother, penniless and homeless. But of course, if it weren't for you the Paris Opera would not have burned down and I could be working."

I felt ashamed that she would bring that up, and I told her. "I can't explain my behavior. I know what I've done is wrong, but I'm trying to heal. I'm trying to rectify my past mistakes, and lead a better life." I admitted to her my true feelings, of shame and anger at what I had done with my life.

I wanted to become better than what I had been, and to leave the pain and fear behind. I knew that I could never lead a normal life, but at least I could lead one without murder or danger.

Slowly Meg came over to me, and I wondered what on earth she was doing. We were both sitting on the floor, and she reached out with her hand to touch my shoulder. I looked at her hand, so warm and alive against me.

"Erik, I know you can't change the past, but you can direct the future. Direct your future towards something good. You have so much to teach, and even more to learn."

Gently I reached up and held her hand in mine, so much smaller and more pale than Christine's. I noticed that while Christine had kept her nails trim and neat, Meg's were torn and cracked.

I held her hand and we looked at each other for a moment, and I reached down to tenderly place a kiss on her hand. For most French gentlemen this small act was nothing, a mere greeting or sign of affection, but for me it meant so much more.

It meant that Meg wasn't afraid of me, that she trusted me with her hand. It meant that she cared.

I felt a shiver through my body as I let go of her hand, and she smiled. I whispered, "Go to bed, pack your things. I will meet you at eight a.m. early, and we shall send your mother off."

She nodded as she stood, and I remained on the floor. After she left I continued to sit on the floor, my mind a complete blank.

Finally I packed my things, and went to bed.


	12. Camping

**Authors Note: Simply a little history. You can skip this if your not interested. Spa's have been around since the early Roman era, with public baths. They've undergone changes of course, but over all the concept is the same. As for Skiing, this used to be a practical means of transportation in Norway and Sweden, until the early 1800's saw a surge in the popularity and Skiing became a pasttime activity. Norway and the European area were the first to offer ski resorts; albeit very different than what we know now; and I've tried to write as accuratly as possible about 1800's skiing and spas.  
**

**  
Meg:** I came back to my room rather flustered. I'd never actually felt what I was feeling at that moment before. Of course all Erik had done was kiss my hand; a rather nonchalant and simple gesture that many men before had done.

Yet none of those admirers and suitors had ever kissed with such tender lips; and such frightened uncertainty. I began to pack my bags, noticing that the few dresses I owned were becoming tattered and frayed.

I would need to sew them back up; or design a new dress. I had never had the ability to sew that my mother had; often I would hand her my ideas and she would do the actual work.

But I wanted to break free of that dependence, I wanted to things on my own. So I started thinking about what type of dress I wanted to create; only a ploy to keep my mind off Erik's warm, seductive voice and our future adventure that would begin in the morning.

I remembered his eyes, gentle yet timid, and such a deep shade of green. I wanted my dress to reproduce that color, the color of grass in the late evening, or a weeping willow; they always appeared so sad.

I finally smothered my face into the pillow and told myself to stop having such a childish crush.

**Ann: **I awoke the next morning frightened yet exhilarated. I had only left Megan alone for so long once; when she had visited my parents for a month's vacation.

Now, however, I was leaving her for an entire week in the hands of a mentally unstable man. Although Erik had maintained control over himself during our time together; ten months could not overcome an entire lifetime of lunacy.

I was terrified of so many things, that Meg would get hurt, or even Erik, or they would get lost, or else, that they would discover feelings for each other.

It wasn't that I didn't want Megan to fall in love, but I wanted her to be with a nice gentleman; preferably her own age. I was afraid if she got too close to Erik, the same problem with Christine would occur.

Or, rather, he would reject Meg and break her heart. I had spent half my life keeping them apart, and now I realized it had all been in vain.

I walked outside to the foyer and waited for my daughter and surrogate son.

**Erik:** I awoke to an incessant pounding on my door. I went to open it, and found a highly excited Meg with her bags all packed. She was fresh faced and smiling, and I smiled back.

"Give me a few minutes." I told her. She nodded and went down the stairs, and I began to dress. When I reached the foyer Meg and Ann were talking in rather low tones, and when they saw me they immediately stood up.

"Are we all ready?" Ann asked. I set my suitcase on the floor and wrote a letter to the landlady. I included a generous tip along with it, and then we three set out back.

We got on our horses and Ann turned to Meg. They embraced in a tight hug and Ann whispered, "Take care of yourself dear." Ann rode next to me and held out her hand. We shook hands and I told her, "You have nothing to fear. She will be safe." Ann nodded, and we set off to the road.

At the next boulevard, Ann took the map I had given her and rode west, towards her destination. Meg watched her mother ride off, and then turned to me. "Shall we go south?" She asked. I turned my horse and we left for our destination.

**Meg: **My mother had always been a constant presence at my side. The only time I had ever known her to be truly gone was when I visited my grandparents one month.

Other than that she had always ben watching over me, protecting me, and constantly irritating me. However, now, as I rode with Erik towards the Treves Glade, I wished she had been there.

We rode in silence, neither of us knowing what to say to the other. I did like Erik; it was something I had to accept; but now, after that acceptance; every time he spoke to me I got butterflys in my stomach.

Suddenly he stopped and I asked, "What are you doing?" He pointed to a small shop and I stopped too. We got off our horses and tied them to the posts. The store was a small ski supply merchant. Inside everything was hung up on the walls, with a low counter that held a register and a jar of pennies.

I had no idea what the little sticks were, nor why there were so many poles in one place. They had masks and lamb wool jackets hanging up, and I saw a rather nice pair of leather boots.

Erik went over to the old man behind the counter and asked in English, "We are going to the ski lodge this week, could you help us with our necessities?" The man smiled and then replied in French, "Of course. Would you like replace your broken ski mask for a nice lamb-skin one?"

I covered my gasp with a cough and Erik glared at me.

The man had mistook what Erik's mask was for, and I didn't know if the poor man would survive our encounter. Erik replied nonchalantly, "Yes. I would like a black one. Along with those skis there." He pointed to two tall sticks and I realized those were skis. I couldn't imagine diving down a snow slicked mountain with only two thin strips of wood attached to my feet.

Perhaps skiing was not what I would enjoy. Suddenly the man turned around and asked, "What sort of skis would your daughter like Sir?" The old man was very presumptuous!

Erik gave me a look that said everything, and I simply replied, "Thick ones, very thick skis." The man handed me a pair of large, thick skis and Erik placed his on the counter.

I laid mine against it and we began to sort through the jackets. The man had pulled four poles from the wall and added them to our pile, and after we had both found very comfortable jackets and Erik's mask, we were set.

"You may need gloves." The man said, and he gave us a group of leather gloves to try on. I found a pair that fit and Erik asked, "Is there anything else we may require?" The man shook his head and began to ring up our purchases.

After Erik paid we went outside with our bundle, and attempted to place them on our horses. Brise wouldn't carry my skis on her back, but Erik had attached his skis to both of Aries's sides.

He came over to me and attached my skis to Brise, calming her in the process.

"You're very good with horses." I told him. He nodded and got up on Aries. I swung my leg over Brise and we started walking. Erik told me, "I like animals. They are good company."

I replied, "Did you have a pet, back at the Opera?" He nodded his head, "I had a horse too, Ceaser. He passed away however. I loved him." I suddenly realized why my mother had named her horse Cleopatra.

Obviously she had been with Erik when his horse passed. We continued to talk as we rode along, until we reached Treves Glade. A large, deep forest that ran all the way to the base of the mountain.

There was a path that led through it, and three other people were riding ahead of us. We smiled at each other, and left the path.


	13. Arrival

**Erik:** I wanted to see what was beyond the regular path that most people took. I knew Meg would enjoy the adventure, and from my map I could see we weren't going to get lost.

We followed the foilage that grew along the thick forest floor. The trees were large and obviously old, and birds sang from them.

There were also irritating flying insects and mosquitos. All around us was the simplicity of nature. Meg pointed out a large bush with yellow flowers, and I showed her some ivy that had grown along two trees to form an arch. Along the path we heard a large animal, but when we looked it was already gone.

An elk or perhaps a bear. We enjoyed our trip immensely, until we came out at an intersection.

We had reached the main campsite, where other people had tents and fires going in the dusky evening. Meg and I had spent all day with nothing to eat, and now we set about creating our own camp.

Unlike the other people, who had large tents and pillows to sleep with; Meg and I were content to spread two blankets under a tree and that was enough. We had already endured pelting rain, damp fog, and irritating bugs in Slovenia; and survived.

Of course if Ann had been with us she would have insisted on a tent, and pillows, and maybe even tea. Meg had started building a fire, and tried to light it with matches.

I pulled from my pocket two small flint stones, and struck them together over the wood. The fire started immediately, and Meg laughed. I got out of our pack some hot dogs, and Meg took a small pan and poured a can of black beans into it.

She told me, "This is so amazing. I never thought I would be doing anything like this!" I smiled and replied, "It is rather exciting. I've never been this far before." Meg held the pan over the fire as I cooked the hot dogs.

When we were finished I fixed both of our plates and Meg came to sit beside me. "Tomorrow we'll reach the lodge. How long do you think it may take?" She asked

I looked out at the crowd in the campsite and replied, "We may have to wait in line. I know that the brochure said there were one hundred rooms available, but they may be over booked."

Meg shrugged and said, "Well, then we can camp out a few more days." I chuckled and told her, "Ann will be waiting for us on Sunday." Meg agreed, and we talked a bit more. She asked me about my magic skills, and I showed her a few tricks. It was actually rather nice to have her as a companion.

She was energetic and fun, full of vitality. I had never realized how truly fun a friend could have been. So long ago, I had the same fun with Ann, racing about in the Opera.

Yet I had pushed her away, frightening her, and now it seemed as if I had lost that special connection we once had. Christine had never truly filled that void; she had been my consuming passion; but because I had never seen her in person we didn't have the bond that might have kept her with me.

Instead I had just shown up one day, in the middle of her life, and told her that I had deceived her for so many years. Now, with Meg, I had a chance to correct my failings with both Ann and Christine.

Rather than intimidate and scald her, I simply relaxed and let myself be who I was with Meg. I didn't have to lie or deceive her, she accepted me as I was. I wondered if this would have been the same with Christine, together in a campground, performing magic and laughing.

I wondered if Raoul amused her, or if she was utterly bored. I knew I was not bored, certainly not with Meg, and smiled as she attempted to vanish her scarf.

I took the fabric and waved it in the air, causing it to vanish utterly; up my sleeve. "Erik, silly, bring it back." Meg was laughing and I had to laugh too. I pulled the scarf from her ear, and she giggled.

She looked at me and asked quietly, "Can you tell me a story?" I asked back, "What type?" She shrugged and replied, "A nice one, with a good ending." She pulled up her legs and rested her chin on her knees, and I began to tell a story.

I told her about a prince, who wanted to rescue a young princess, but the prince was snobbish and rude, and the princess fell in love with a kind, gentle man who happened to be an ogre. I told her about the princess's curse, that only true love could break, and Meg sighed when I finished.

"She made the right descion." She said. I asked quietly, "Who would you choose?" Meg looked at me and replied, "The Prince was handsome, and rich, but the Ogre was nicer, and more caring. I think I'd choose the Ogre."

I asked her timidly, thinking of my own self, "Even if the Ogre were so ugly, and so frightening, no one would accept him?" Meg gently leaned forward and whispered, "I would accept him." I smiled as I reached out, gently brushing a strand of hair from her face.

Meg placed her legs on the ground and came closer to me, and I turned immediately, poking the fire with the stick to keep it going. I felt Meg's presence close to me, and then I felt her arm around my shoulder.

My heart was racing as fast as a greyhound, and I awkwardly poked the stick in the fire. Meg did not say a word, and we sat together, watching the fire, with her arm gently reaching against my back.

Finally I looked at her, and smiled. She smiled back, and I told her, "We must rest, for tomorrow." Meg nodded, and moved to get her blanket. I don't know why I pushed her away like that, I was frightened really.

I wondered if having feelings for Meg was a betrayal of my love for Christine.

**Meg:** I knew Erik was not an affectionate man. I'm surprised he didn't choke me the minute I place my arm on his shoulder. He had entertained me with magic and stories, and I knew that perhaps I had gone too far.

Really, I had wanted to kiss him, as we sat beside the fire. Yet I was not going to make that move, for fear of upsetting him. We had known each other for over ten months, and spent half that time alone.

I could wait another ten months if I had to.

I curled up under my blanket and rolled over. Erik was laying on his side a few feet away, and I watched the curve of his back as he breathed. I wondered what he had been thinking, as we sat together.

Most likely about Christine. He loved her, honestly and openly, and I felt sad to know that he would spend his life in misery over a woman who hadn't deserved that love.

Of course it was mean to think such things about my friend, but I had known how she loved Raoul, and only took her Angel for granted. Raoul had done nothing for her career, and he had never shown her the love and affection that Erik had.

Yet, somewhere, in my heart, I was glad she chose Raoul, because if she hadn't, I wouldn't be where I was now. I continued to watch Erik until I fell asleep.

The next morning I awoke to find a line of people moving towards the base of the mountain. I hurriedly packed my blanket and pan, and realized that my dress was rather muddy.

Erik was behind me, and he startled me when he said, "Brown is a good color for you. It makes your hair shine like gold." I shook my head at his joke and mounted Brise. He followed me, but pointed towards the woods. "I looked at the map. Just follow me and don't make any noise."

Two people behind us shouted, "Don't leave the path, you'll get lost!" Once again, however, we left the path.

I followed Erik quietly, until I realized that we were actually skipping line. "Erik, that's wrong." I told him. Erik said nothing, and I began to get cold.

I reached behind me to pull at the pack that held my jacket, and when I got it I pulled it on. I wished I had gotten a hat as well, for my ears were cold.

Erik looked behind to me and asked, "Are you comfortable?" I nodded yes and we continued. We were now climbing a large, steep cliff, and I wondered how our horses could survive.

I cursed Erik, because it would have been easier to follow the worn path than to carve our own. After what seemed nearly an eternity the trees became sparse, and the ground was wet. Suddenly I realized it was snowing, and Erik stopped.

He reached around and pulled out his own jacket, then reached up and removed his mask, placing the black ski mask on instead. When he looked at me he was rather menacing and sinister.

I followed him as we continued, the air getting colder and the snow thicker. I patted Brise to make sure she wasn't shivering. The snow was blanketing the ground and I had to admit it was beautiful.

Suddenly I saw the path of people and horses that we had left, and I laughed. We had saved over four hours of waiting by simply going in a different direction.

Erik motioned for me to ride beside him, and I came to him. We rode until we saw a large building, and I gaped at the ski lodge.


	14. SkiSpa

**Ann:** I arrived at the Preve Gstaad Center during the late afternoon. My legs were becoming sore from so much riding, and I was glad to see Cleopatra escorted to the stables.

I checked in at the front desk, paying for a one week stay. Erik had given me well enough money for the things I might enjoy, but I wanted to be as economical as possible.

The Center was a large, white brick building with many windows. The front intereior was a pale blue with mahogany desks and large mahogany bookcases. There were wicker chairs and lounges in the front foyer, and a large door that led outside to a garden and pool. Two staircases at each end of the hall led upstairs, and my room was situated on the left stair in Suite 436.

The room was quite opulent, although I had chosen a less expensive room than what Erik had suggested. There was one bed in the center, and a beautiful balcony that led to a view of the Swiss Alps.

I had a white amouire and a white desk, complete with stationary. A door beside the desk led to a lovely bathroom, with a porcelain chamberpot and white counter with a fresh water pitcher.

A note beside the porcelain tub explained that when water was necessary, to come downstairs and ask a chambermaid for fresh bathing water. It also said that when the chamberpot needed to be emptied, they had professionals's available at all times.

I was ecstatic.

Immediately I unpacked my clothes, realizing that my dresses were rather frayed and unsuitable. I wondered how Meg's clothing was holding up, and if she would need me to sew them for her.

My first thought of Meg led me to think of Erik, and of course the knot in my stomach came back.

I was worried that leaving them alone for so long would only increase the chances of them becoming closer. I realized that I could not stop whatever happened, and if Meg was to find love with Erik, it was her heart that would break. I knew deep inside, Erik would never let go of Christine.

At least, of all the men Meg had courted before, Erik was somewhat acceptable. If he had been simply another admirer who came to the Opera, I would have been glad to let Meg see him.

But I had encouraged Christine instead, making it possible for them to be together.

I wondered how things might have been different if I had allowed Meg to be raised with Erik, as a brother or cousin. Instead I had kept them separate; Erik below as my dark secret, and Meg above, as my pride and joy.

My only problem was facing the fact that if Erik had not murdered my husband, then I would have never seen him again, and Meg would indeed have had brothers and sisters and would now be ready for marriage.

Instead we were miles away from home, and she was off with a man and no escort, and I was here; all alone.

Was I simply going to accept a romance between him and my daughter? Or would I force them apart, and leave Meg crying in the arms of another man, while Erik wasted away over a woman who had left him?

I knew I had to take care of both of them, because I was their caretaker. So many things swirled about in my mind, and I knew I was becoming rather stressed.

I slammed the amouire shut and went downstairs to see how I could ease my mind.

**Erik:** The ski lodge was quite impressive. It was pure wood and logs, with three rectangular buildings set side by side. The top of the mountain was visible through the swirling snow, and I saw people, horses, and even mules climbing to the top in order to fly down again. I thought it would be easier if they had some way to fly people to the top, as a lift or some wire trap, but no one else seemed to mind the long trek.

Meg was racing Brise to the front door of the middle building, and I chased after her. She disembarked and I followed. Suddenly we heard an English voice beside us.

"I'll take your horses to the stable until you need them. We have pack mules for rent if you don't want to tire your horse."

I nodded and Meg thanked the man.

He pointed to the first building, "That's the entrance and the main house. These two are the rooms. The outhouses are behind them, ten for the ladies and ten for the gents. I suggest you get a warm hat miss." Meg smiled and I led her to the first building.

She asked me, "Won't we be cold when we, um.." She shrugged but I knew what she meant.

"I suggest you bring a small cup with a hot ember inside. It may warm you." I told her.

Meg's cheeks were crimson, but I couldn't tell if she was blushing or simply freezing.

I held her hand as we walked inside and found the main desk. The building was heated by four fireplaces situated in each wall. There were rugs and comfortable couches and chairs along the main floor, and a large bookcase along the far wall.

I smiled when I saw the grand piano on the right side of the floor, and out of habit my fingers began to twitch.

Meg was walking to the main desk, which sat before two smaller ones, and I smiled at the man who worked it. His first question in plain English was, "What language do you speak?"

He asked again in Spanish, but I held up my hand. "French Monsieur. The lady and I are interested in a stay." He adjusted his bifocal and looked at a large ledger. "We have twenty-three rooms available. Would you prefer two separate one-bedroom rooms or one bedroom with two beds?"

Meg suddenly spoke and replied, "One room with two beds please."

I looked at her quizzically, wondering why she would want to be in the same room with me. It was not appropriate, and I knew Ann would not approve. "Are you sure? You can have your own you know." I asked her.

Meg smiled at me and asked, "Is it alright? If your not comfortable we can have two separate rooms." The man looked at us and said, "There is a line. Please tell me what you prefer."

I shrugged. It did not matter to me where Meg chose to sleep, so long as she was comfortable. Myself I was used to being alone, and as long as Meg gave me my privacy she was welcome to stay in the same room.

We had shared rooms in Italy as well, with Ann and Meg sleeping in one bed, and it had not bothered me. Yet I wondered why; when her mother was not here; Meg wouldn't want to assert her independence with her own room. I told the man what we wanted, and paid for our time.

Meg already had the key and I walked alongside with our luggage.

**Meg:** The ski lodge was rather atrocious.

They had poor bears and moose heads along the walls, and I wondered what had become of the rest of the bodies. I did not approve of hunting for sport, only for survival.

Also, they didn't even have chamberpots. In order to perform private acts, I would have to walk outside in the cold!

I had also realized that in order to ski down the summit, we would have to walk up a large hill with our equipment. I hoped Erik would rent a mule, because I did not Brise or Aries to suffer.

When the man had asked what room would we prefer, I immediately told him one room with two beds. I knew Erik suffered at night, with constant nightmares and moving about.

If he happened to fall off the bed, I wanted to be there for him.

Also, I rather enjoyed Erik's company. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable however, but he had made no move to change the plan. Our room was in the third building, a long rectangle with doors leading along both walls.

A small foyer at the end of the hall furnished a large fire, and I realized each of the rooms had a smaller fire inside. The room we had was not small, but not large either. It featured two beds across from each other, with a space in between the footboards that lead to a small fire and beside that a large amouire.

That was all actually. It was nice, but I knew I would be spending more time outside than in, so I was content.

Erik began to unpack his clothes, and then he came to me. "You may need these tomorrow. Your cheeks are flushed." He was holding a black scarf and a small, black fedora hat.

I asked, "Won't you need them?" His reply was short, "No." I took them and thanked him, but when his back turned I quietly sniffed the scarf. His cologne was still faintly upon it, and I felt embarrassed for doing so.

He was still wearing the ski mask, a large piece of black wool that covered not only his entire face, but his hair and neck as well. I wondered if he would ever take it off during our vacation.

After we had both packed our clothes away, Erik stowed the bags under the beds and asked me. "Are you hungry?" I smiled and replied, "Yes."

The ski lodge had a smaller building behind the large three ones, for meals and refreshments.

We walked outside as I covered my neck and cheeks with the scarf and placed the fedora on my unkempt hair.

I decided that later I would braid my hair for easier management. Erik opened the door for me and we went inside.


	15. Skiing

**Erik:** We had a quiet meal and talked to a Ski Guide. He took us outside to practice on a small slope with his skis. It turned out skiing was a bit harder than I had expected.

Meg, on the other hand, appeared to be having the time of her life. By the time we had the basic understanding the sun had sunk low in the horizon.

Meg went into the main building for some hot tea while I decided to go to sleep early. On my way to our room I stopped at the stables and checked on the horses.

They appeared to be nervous around the unfamiliar stable boys, but there was nothing I could do for them. I read one of my books and soon fell asleep.

In the morning I awoke with the irritating feel of stubble along the right side of my face. The thing I hated most about my hair was that; while it grew quite naturally along my arms, legs, and chest; I was unable to achieve even a beard or at least a mustache.

The deformed and pitted skin along the left side of my face prevented hair from growing on that side, so I was rather embarrassed to have to shave only one part of my face each morning.

I took my mirror and razor along with my clothes and left Meg sleeping soundly in the room. I always tried to awake earlier than Ann or Meg, but often did not.

I hated for them to see me without my mask, there were times I even slept with it on.

Both women knew what I looked like, and it didn't seem to affect them too badly; yet I could never remove my mother's screams from my mind. From my earliest memories all I could actually recall was people's reactions to my visage.

The horrid gawkers in the gypsy camp; Madeline's and Marie's attempts to hide their disgust; and sweet Christine.

A young girl shocked to discover her Angel was really a demon, with Satan's face.

The only real compassionate memory I had was one, when Meg had so graciously accepted me as I tumbled into her arms, crying at the loss of my entire life beneath the Opera.

It was true, Ann and Meg were the only people who could look upon my ghastly face without fear or repulsion. But I would never make them suffer my appearance.

I would wear whatever masks, wigs, hats or make ups I could find; to make myself appear as a Gentleman of Society.

I finished my duties in the festering outhouse and emerged. The bitter cold whipped at my jacket and I trudged on to find Meg.

**Meg:** I awoke to find Erik already gone.

I hoped he hadn't started without me. Quickly I chose the least cumbersome dress and donned my hat and scarf. I had braided my long hair last night, watching Erik as he slept.

He was a rather handsome man; at least from the neck down. His face was not utterly devastating; it almost appeared as if he were burned. I liked his natural hair, so soft and white.

He always tried to hide it, but I wished he would stop hiding and accept who he was.

He was a kind, intelligent man with so much potential.

I blamed society for their cruel view of beauty. Lepers were spit upon and kicked, amputees forced into slavery and anyone with even a small mental abnormality was treated as excrement.

I had met many people with disabilities, either physical or mental, and they had always seemed so soft and gentle. Erik was honestly a genius, a man who could take the world by force; and yet the world would kill him for that small fraction of his face.

After I had braided my hair I slipped off the bed quietly, sneaking inch by inch towards Erik, until I reached his warm body. I leaned over slightly and gently kissed his tender cheek.

Immediately I ran back to the bed, stifling my giggles and holding my neck as a precaution.

Erik did not move, and I fell asleep, dreaming of the snow that waited tomorrow.

**Erik: **I found Meg talking to a young girl at the edge of the first building.

She smiled and waved as I walked over, and then introduced me to her new companion. At the sound of my voice the girl smiled and told me I sounded like an Angel. I said nothing more during our conversation.

Meg waved goodbye to the girl as we headed toward the bank of the mountain. "Are we going to rent a mule?" Meg asked. I told her yes, and we headed towards the pen that held the pack mules.

Two men at the bottom rented them to carry each person's belongings up to the top of the steep mountain; and two men at the top waited to carry the mule's back down after each person was at the top.

People could take as many turns as they wanted on the incline, but first they had to walk a twenty minute hike straight up. The man asked for our initials and wrote them on a slip of paper, placing the paper on the mule's collar.

He was ours for the day. Meg, of course, cooed and cuddled the little gray animal, and proceeded to name him Carlotta.

I laughed hard as we began our trek up the mountain.

**Meg:** The hardest thing about skiing was walking.

Always walking.

I was glad we had a mule to carry our skis and poles, or else I would have just stayed at the main building.

Erik and I discussed the astronomy of the Northern sky, vastly different from the North-Eastern sky of Slovenia. We were south of Achilles Heel, and now the astrological symbols rotated left instead of right. I asked about astrology; always a silly past time to me; but Erik explained the Gypsy lore that held so many people captive.

He said he knew how to read the Tarot, but I told him I thought it was silly. The only thing I could belive was the herbal knowledge that Gypsies gaurded. I knew certain remedies could work, and yet I was slightly skeptic about some.

By the time we reached the top of the mountain we were actually exhausted, and took a small break, drinking water and placing our skis on. We handed the reins to one of the mule workers, and waved goodbye.

I called out, "Bye Carlotta, you dirty ass!" Erik reprimanded me for such language, and I laughed. He was the only one who knew what I had actually meant.

We looked at each other, and Erik nodded. "On the count of Three. One, Two, Wait!"

I could hear Erik scream behind me but I was already off! It was exhilarating, almost as if I were flying. I screamed in panic at first, but I was actually having a grand time.

I shot past trees at breathtaking speed, sliding down the snow as if it were water. Erik shot past me and I pushed my poles, sliding along faster. It was so exciting and fantastic.

I flew as fast as the wind and as smooth as ice, shooting past Erik and screaming. It was so exhilarative, and I soon saw the edge of the slope. There was a large wooden gate that heralded the stop point.

I knew I was supposed to slow down, but I didn't want to.

I drug my poles into the snow and came to a slow down. Two people whipped past me as they stopped, and Erik came to a standstill. He was actually laughing. It was such a warm and comforting sound.

I came to him rather clumsily in my skis and we caught our breath.

**Erik:** I tried to make Meg wait for my count, but she slipped past me as soon as I said two.

I pushed after her and felt my heart beating. The speed I picked up was astonishing. I moved along in elation, passing Meg as she screamed in joy. I had never experienced such a rush, as if my blood were on fire and my heart was soaring.

I made tracks in the snow as I slid faster and faster.

Never in my life had I experienced such freedom. For too long I had been trapped beneath that Opera, never realizing the full benefits of the world.

Now I laughed as I realized how utterly pathetic my life had been. Half of it wasted, gone, and never to be brought back.

I came to the check point and slowed down, soaring past Meg as she too laughed.

Together we came to a standstill, catching our breath as we smiled.

"I want to go down again." I told her. She nodded and we started walking the long trek again.


	16. Discussion

**Meg: **We spent all afternoon going up and down the mountain.

I sped down four times while Erik went six times. The last two times I waited with the mule while Erik sped down as fast as an eagle.

Although it was exhilarating, it was also exhausting. Erik and I ate dinner with a new young friend I had met. We talked about our countries and our interests.

Later the girl decided to go ski a few more times before true night fell.

I walked with Erik towards the main building. He led me to a soft chair and asked if I wanted tea. It was nice how happy he seemed taking care of me.

I wondered why Christine hadn't wanted to stay and be pampered by him all her life. Of course being with a Vicompte meant she could be pampered by servants and maids; but it wasn't the same.

I got a rather interesting book from the bookcase and began to read while Erik placed the tea on the table beside me.

He wondered over to the bookcase and browsed. I had a suspicion he had already read them all before.

I became absorbed in my own book when a few minutes later there was a horrible racket. Two young men, perhaps my age, were trying to play the grand piano that stood in the corner.

They were laughing as if it were all fun. The noise they made could hardly be called "fun".

I tried to ignore them as many other people were doing. My book was rather interesting.

Suddenly my ears picked up the most familiar tune, and I immediately turned to find Erik playing the piano instead.

The boys were standing beside him and several other people had come to watch. I stood up and walked over to him, wary of the pressing crowd. I knew Erik was uncomfortable with so many people pressed around him.

I made my way to his side and he never looked up from the keys, but asked me quietly, "Could you dance for me Meg?" I smiled as his song switched to a simple ballet, with no interruption in the beat.

Many people clapped and by now the entire room, including the concierge at the main desk, were watching Erik.

I made their eyes switch to me, however, as I began a simple pirouette in fourth position. I followed the movements; although I was rather bulky in my long dress.

I picked up the hem and began an arabesque. The crowd was now filling a small semi-circle around the piano and myself as I danced gracefully to Erik's music.

He began to change tempo and I kept up, hearing the applause as I had heard so many months ago at the Opera. I danced and smiled, glad to be on my toes again.

Erik's music crescendoed, and I twirled in third position as I finished my laureation and pirouetting.

I bowed to the crowd as they applauded and many of them spoke to each other. Erik smiled as I came over and sat beside him.

"Why did you do that?" I asked him. He replied, "Why wouldn't I?"

It was a good answer.

**Erik: **After dinner Meg and I went to the main building to relax.

She sat in a chair and sipped her tea while I browsed the books that lined the large bookcase. There were some I had already read but others that looked fairly interesting.

All thoughts of reading, however, ended when I heard a most atrocious noise.

Two boys, no older than Meg herself, were laughing and pounding the keys of the piano that rested in the corner. It was a horrible way to treat such a fine instrument.

I went to them as an older man muttered, "Just ignore them Sir."

I confronted them with an iced stare and asked, "What gives you the right to treat someone's property with such disrespect?" One of the boys looked at me while the other backed away.

"We were just playing Mister. No offense." I shooed the boys away and sat down upon the bench, feeling the keys once again beneath my fingers.

I began to play a small tune, nothing but an old song I used to sing. It felt wonderful to be playing again, the rich melody and soft twinkling of the piano.

I felt the presence of the two insolent boys and soon felt many others watching me. I began to feel claustrophobic, afraid of the ravaging mob.

My fingers began to hit the keys too hard and I berated myself.

Perfection was the only way to make fine music.

Soon I felt Meg's calming presence before me and my frightened heart beat slower.

"Could you dance for me Meg?" I asked her, while the real question was, "Could you make them stop staring at me?"

I played a sweet ballet tune for my young ballerina, and the crowd watched her as she soared across the wood floor of the ski lodge.

I poured myself into the music, caressing the keys and tenderly playing the song. Meg danced as I played, and it was nice to actually have someone acting out the music. I knew if Christine had been there with me, her voice would have sufficed to only make the crowd watch us both.

However, Meg's twirling and twisting kept the people's eyes away from me. I had always liked Meg's dancing. She was one of the best, and I had made every opportunity for the mangers to make her Prima Ballerina.

It had been my dream, so long ago, to have Christine on stage as Prima Donna, singing my music with her delightful voice while Meg, the Prima Ballerina, revealed the actions of my Opera through her graceful and charming dance.

Now, far to sadly, that dream was shattered.

I closed the song with a flourish as Meg ended her performance, and the crowd applauded.

Were they applauding for me or for Megan? It was indeed the first time anyone had ever applauded for my music. I almost cried, but stifled myself as Meg sat beside me.

She was smiling and I nodded. "They really liked you." She told me.

I shook my head no, "They liked you. I was just the accompanist."

She replied, "Erik, can't you ever take a compliment?" I shrugged.

The truth was, I found it hard to accept that people had actually liked my music. It was almost as if I expected to be hated and ridiculed. A compliment, was simply incomprehensible.

The crowd had wafted back to their previous actions, and Meg sat beside me as I hit a few keys.

She looked at me and said quietly, "I don't think I can ask you to sing can I?" I immediately shook my head. "If I sang these people would become automatons, puppets under my control. Or else, there would be a large orgy."

She laughed and I laughed too, although it was true.

I was afraid to sing for more than two or three people. The last time I had performed for an audience, also my first and last, they had become enslaved by me. If I had asked them all to raise their hands, they would have. My voice was like a hypnotist, without the spinning watch or black and white wheel.

I could still somewhat control Meg and Ann, and especially Christine. The poor girl had never had a chance under my voice.

Instead I played a small tune, feeling the keys as I composed a sonnet from thin air. I made the music up as I went along, and Meg watched my fingers deftly playing.

A few people were watching us, but not quite as large a crowd. Someone from somewhere brought a small glass of champagne and placed it on the hood of the piano.

I gasped, and Meg quickly picked up the glass and wiped the area clean with her sleeve.

She sipped it and handed it to me. I stopped playing and took a sip. It was old champagne, and not in a good way either.

"This isn't very good." I told her. She asked, "Can I bring you another?"

I shook my head and turned to the keys. Meg watched and I wondered if she had ever played an instrument. I knew she was more of a dancer though.

"Would you like to try?" I asked.

She looked at me quizzically. I gently picked up her hands and placed them on the appropriate keys.

"Always keep your fingers here, although they may stray down"  
I played her fingers down one way, "Or they may play up," I moved her fingers upwards the other end of the piano,  
"But always return here, to these ten keys."

She nodded and I moved her fingers in a gentle manner. "Repeat that." I asked her.

She played the tune and I smiled. "Try your own music."

I watched as she played; of all things; chopsticks.

"Megan Giry, you must know something other than that." I placed my arm around her back and held both of her hands in mine.

"Don't play anything you know, just feel the music in your fingers and play what you feel." Suddenly I realized just how close I was to her, but was too far involved to simply pull back.

Meg began to play a light melody, hitting the keys hard.

"Not hard, soft. Like this." I tapped her finger against the key.

She repeated the gesture and played again, hitting the keys softer as I watched. I could smell her perfume, a simple scent of spice and flowers together. The truth was, I was feeling rather dizzy.

I had never even been this close to another woman other than Christine, and it was intoxicating.

The sweet feeling of Meg's arm against my hand as I followed her movements made me sigh, and suddenly she turned to me.

"Do you like what I play?" She asked. Her own face was mere inches from my own, and I gazed into her deep blue eyes.

"Yes." I was surprised I could even say that one word without stammering.

She looked at me, our bodies closer than they had ever been. My arm rested against her back as my other hand held onto the piano.

Her hands tenderly came to me, and she fiddled with the button on my coat. "Erik" She whispered, and I asked her, "Yes?" I came closer, a feeling of apprehension deep within my gut.

I could feel her tension as well, and we looked at each other. Slowly Meg came closer to me, and my heart beat faster. "Erik, um. I" She licked her trembling lips and a feeling of intensity shot through me.

I placed my head closer to hers as Meg continued to toy with the button.

Tenderly, gently, I reached up and pulled her hands away from my coat, which only caused me to become closer to her warm body.

I watched her eyes watching me and I asked, "Meg. What is it you have to say?" I myself wanted to scream.

She looked at me and asked in a bare whisper. "I like you. Do you. Like me?"

I told her honestly, "I like you. You are my friend."

It sounded like something a five year old would say.

I noticed how warm and soft her back felt against my hand, and I gently rubbed against the soft fabric of her dress. Meg looked at me and whispered, "Do you like me, as perhaps, more than a friend?"

I didn't really know how to respond. Actually, I did enjoy Meg's company.

She was a sweet, compassionate person who helped me when most people would have hung me from a noose. Her mother was the only real friend I had ever had, and without either of them, I would have been lost within an immense hell.

The feelings I felt for Meg resembled the feelings I felt for Christine.

I liked her presence, her conversation's, but in some odd way I did not feel as obsessive for Meg as I had Christine. Meg could leave for hours and I would not worry over where she was, or what she was doing.

I did not spend every moment thinking about her.

Actually, it was a relief. I knew if I needed her, Meg would be there, and so I did not worry about her leaving and never returning.

Now, however, she was confessing that she had those feelings for me. Of course, she was only a young woman. Perhaps she had some type of crush on me; although why I couldn't understand.

I was not the kind of man women would fawn over.

I looked at her and she asked, "What are you thinking about?"

Now how was I supposed to answer that?

Did I tell her about how I thought her eyes matched the color of the sea in Italy, or how I liked when we talked? Did I tell her I was thinking about my feelings for Christine over my feelings for Meg? Did she want me to tell her about how I thought a nice kiss on the cheek would send me into extasy?

Why would Meg ask me such a complicated question?

I decided to be honest, because above all I valued our trust together. "I was thinking, about how I liked you, and I loved Christine, and trying to comprehend my feelings. It's difficult."

Meg pulled away a bit and asked, "You like me, but you love Christine?"

That wasn't exactly what I had meant. "It's just. This is so sudden. Meg, do you really have feelings for me?"

I couldn't understand. I was a genius in so many areas, but women were the only thing that eluded me.

Meg leaned in closer and whispered, "You are a nice man Erik. Despite some things, I do enjoy your company. You've taught me so much about the world, and science, and other things. I've never felt so, connected, to anyone."

I rubbed her back to reassure myself this was not some dream.

Christine had never talked to me about anything really, other than her father and the daily activities of the Opera. Meg, however, listened and talked about so many other items. She was a good companion on a long journey.

I leaned in closer and asked her, "Do you, really mean that?"

Was I really that insecure? I could kill a man with my bare hands, but I could barely have a discussion this close to a warm female.

Meg suddenly reached her hand towards my ski mask and I flinched.

"Let us continue this discussion in our room Erik."

I bit my lip and wondered if there was any of that foul, old champagne left..


	17. Kissing

**Meg:** I can't explain how I felt with Erik, sitting by the piano as his strong fingers glided my hands across the keys. I tried to voice my feelings, but my tongue was far too tied to even make sense.

It was as if I were mumbling to a statue.

Erik pushed me away, even asking if I wanted to retire to the room. I realized, then, that the feelings I may have had for Erik were not the same as what he felt for me.

I was nothing more than a friend, just a little daughter. It broke me, to know I could never replace Christine. We walked in silence to the room. I wished I had chosen to have my own room, because now I felt like slamming the door and crying into my pillow.

Erik was somber as we walked; most likely lost in thoughts of his precious Chorus girl. I'd done my best to impress him with my dancing, but it was obvious that without a strong Soprano voice I could never impress Erik.

I wondered if there would be time for one last ski down the mountain that night, but it was already dark. I would go first thing in the morning, just to take my mind off everything.

I followed Erik into the room as he began to remove his coat. I kicked the door shut with my foot and Erik looked at me. "Whatever was that for?" He asked.

I told him quickly, "I shut it too hard. Didn't mean to slam it." I shrugged off my own coat and gloves and started to unlace my boots. Erik sat on his bed and looked at me. "Meg, you seem frustrated. Are you angry at something?"

I shrugged but said nothing. Inside I was fuming. I was tired of being rejected by Erik, constantly shoved aside because he couldn't stop fussing over Christine. I'd tried so hard back at the main building, talking to him, even trying to get him to kiss me. All he had been concerned about was playing that stupid piano.

He hadn't even been thinking about what I was saying to him! And when I tried to touch his mask, just a little gesture, he'd jumped and told me to go to the room; as if I were a child!

Now Erik was sitting on his bed, twisting his gloves with his fingers. I took my boots off and looked back at him. He said to me, "You are angry at me, aren't you?" His voice almost sounded dejected, as if he were about to start crying.

My heart shook as I heard him. It was hard to accept, that beneath the brave, strong exterior that he eluded; inside Erik was only a lost, lonely man who had never really lived a normal life.

I scooted over to end of my bed and replied quietly, "I'm not angry, I'm just. I guess, I'm a little disappointed." Erik looked at me; his soft green eyes outlined within the black ski mask.

"Why?" He asked. I didn't know how to respond. I knew that if I said the wrong things, he might become angry, or he might leave.

I just wanted to tell him how I felt, how much I liked him, and how much I was jealous. But it seemed as if all I could say was, "I thought, perhaps, back at the main building, I thought, I don't know." How stupid I was!

Erik asked, "What did you think?" I sighed and told him, "I thought you liked me?"

Erik looked down at the covers and replied, "But I do like you." I nodded my head no, it wasn't what I meant.

I wanted Erik to like me the way I liked him, as more than just a friend.

Erik looked at me and whispered. "Meg, I enjoy you, really I do. And it's more than just friendship. I've never felt so close to anyone, not even your mother. Christine and I, we had, an odd relationship. I'd never even met her in person for nearly ten years. But you, I've only known for less than a year, and I feel, so, connected." Erik's eyes were downcast and I folded my hands in my lap.

I asked him quietly, "Why did you want us to leave the main building?" He replied, "I thought, perhaps, we could have a better conversation in private." I felt my heart sink low. I had been angry because I thought Erik didn't want to talk to me, that he wanted me to go to my room and leave him alone.

I was a fool to ever try and figure him out. It was best to just let things happen, because with Erik, anything could happen.

He asked me quietly, "Meg, what do you really feel for me?" I bit my lip, unable to think of a single answer. "I admire you Erik. I feel, happy when we are together. I like talking to you." Erik looked quietly at me and whispered, "Then why are you angry?"

I couldn't answer that. I looked at my nails, and began to pick them. "Meg, why are you angry?" Erik raised his voice and I looked at him. "You told me, you loved Christine. That's true, she's the only woman you'll ever love."

I felt hot tears begin to sting my eyes and I looked away. Suddenly Erik rose up and came over to me.

He sat beside me and whispered again, "Meg, please understand. I never had the opportunities like other men to explore and figure things out. When it comes to love, what the hell do I know? All I do know is this, I loved Christine, and I'll always hold her to my heart. But you, you've given me hope, and courage, to perhaps quell my obsession with her. She's a married woman, Meg, and I honor that."

He gently wiped at my eyes and continued, "But you're not. Your young, and vivacious. You're here with me, and she's not. Christine played with me, she acted as if Raoul and I were toys.But you, you tell me how you really feel, and you respect me. I appreciate that Meg."

Suddenly I began to really cry, and Erik hesitated before he pulled my head to his chest.

I cried into his chest as he sat still. "Meg, it's alright to have feelings for someone. Hush." He began to stroke my hair, and I could feel him unbraiding it. I cried as he began to run his fingers through my hair. It was true, he loved Christine, but I was here with him and she wasn't. She had chosen to throw his love away for The Vicompte, but I would never throw away his affections for me.

I began to feel calmer, and Erik continued to stroke my hair. I snuggled into his chest, feeling the warmth of his body. Slowly I looked up at him, and he wiped my tears from my cheeks. "Meg, please don't be angry at me." He whispered, continuing to caress my cheek.

I couldn't be angry with him like this, so close to him with his arms around me. "I'm not. I promise." I held my hand up his own and we held each other, his hand on my cheek and my hand on his.

"Meg." Erik whispered as he leaned closer to me.

I choked on my words as I asked him, "Erik, we are alone. I want you to feel comfortable around me. You don't have to wear a mask, really."

Suddenly he froze, and I cursed myself. I trembled as Erik's hand left mine, and he hesitated before reaching up to the edge of his ski mask.

His other hand left my hair and gently he pulled it off. I had only seen his face a few times, on some occasions, but now he was before me and vulnerable.

Indeed he was a breathtaking beauty on one side, but on his other the skin was devastated. I could tell he was breathing hard, perhaps frightened.

I smiled as I reached up, and tenderly caressed his marred cheek. His eyes flashed in fear, and he was trembling. I softly reached out and began to massage his gnarled and raw skin.

Erik moaned and closed his eyes as I continued to touch him; perhaps the first person to ever touch him without abuse. I touched his soft, white hair and came closer to him.

His eyes were closed and he was sighing. I licked my lips and reached out, and kissed him.

His eyes flashed open as I reeled back. I couldn't tell if he was either angry or scared, but he reached out to my lips. He began to trace them, and then he moved forward.

He kissed me back, this time a soft, warm embrace. His lips covered mine in a hungry search, and I responded in urgency. We kissed as if neither of us had ever kissed before.

When his lips left mine I felt a sense of calm. Neither of us spoke, but we looked at each other. Erik took my hand and began to caress my palm with his thumb. After a few moments he said, "That was nice. I enjoyed it."

I smiled and replied, "So did I." He smiled back at me, and it was wonderful to see his entire face light up.

He stood up and continued to hold my hand. "I do believe it is late. I will go and prepare for bed." He kissed my hand, and then reached out with his own hand to caress my cheek.

I sat on the bed a few minutes longer, completely stunned.


	18. Eriks Thoughts

**Erik:** I hadn't intended to make Meg angry. I never wanted to make anyone angry, because anger led to violence. Of course I doubted Meg would turn violent, but she did slam the door with her foot.

I was nervous as she proceeded to throw her clothes off, unlacing her boots as if they were made from hot coals. I wondered if she would throw them at me.

After several questions and answers; neither of which got us anywhere, I was able to deduce that Meg had indeed developed feelings for me. I couldn't understand, however, why that would make her angry.

Of course, I didn't exactly feel the same way for her.

She was an innocent, young woman; but I was a much older, and not quite as innocent man. I wondered if she could even remember she was talking to her own father's assassin, or in her mad rage she had lost all common sense.

I was not a good man for a woman like her; I was murderous, contemptuous, and a theif. She deserved a man of society, and no matter how I had appeared the past year, I wasn't.

Yet she continued to probe me, until I finally broke down and told her. I liked her, indeed, she was beautiful and interesting, but no woman could ever replace Christine.

I loved Christine, though she had never truly loved me.

Suddenly, I realized that the same feelings I had for Christine were the same feelings Megan had for me. Now, after nearly a year, I could actually see how Christine had felt for me.

Because the shoe was on the other foot, as people liked to say.

Yet there was something else, something I was sure Christine had never felt for me. I did love Meg, as a dear friend and companion, and also as a woman. She treated me with kindness and respect, loyalty and above all, trust.

She trusted me. I knew she was sad, bitter and rejected, but I didn't want her to think that I would never love her.

I would love her, yet not as how she wanted.

My heart belonged to Christine, but my mind and soul belonged to Meg.

I came closer to her bed, sitting beside her as she broke into tears. I didn't know how to react, but it would have been rude to let her sit there. I held her close to me as my heart beat.

She sobbed into my chest as I stroked her fine, blonde hair. She had braided it; yet I didn't like that. I liked when Meg's hair flowed around her soft face, and I tenderly undid the knots as I ran my fingers through it.

Meg cried as I caressed her hair, thinking how wonderful it actually felt to be holding a woman, touching her without her reeling in repulsion. I couldn't sort out my feelings, whether I felt for Meg as a father does a daughter, or if I truly desired her, as a husband does a wife.

The only emotions I had ever experienced before had been anger, loneliness, and despair.

Even my love for Christine had left me feeling hopeless and sad. Because she'd never honestly loved me back.

She had cared for me, she had pitied me; but the only time she'd ever shown affection was when I was her Angel. As a man, to her, I was nothing.

Meg had calmed down and was looking at me, and I realized how perfectly her hair glowed against her pale skin. Suddenly, she asked me, of all things, to remove my mask.

It was a horrible way to end an evening.

I knew she had seen me on occasion, sometimes sneaking glances at me; but she had never really seen me up close, nor known me when we talked without wearing some kind of barrier.

I wondered, perhaps, if she would leave, finding another room or actually hitching up her horse.

But she hadn't left me during our long trek together, and the only way to see, if her feelings were honest and she loved me as a man, was to grant her request. It was also a good way to stop her advances; for I did not expect a relationship after she saw me for who I was.

A sad, but true, reflection.

I prepared myself for revulsion, rejection, and pity. But not affection. I did not expect Meg to even touch me, but she did. She caressed my mangled, shredded flesh and my hideous features with such tender mercy that I felt my heart bleed.

I moaned as she embraced me, feeling an imense surge of pleasure at having someone touch me without pain. Suddenly, I felt her lips on mine and opened my eyes. She reeled back and I stared at her.

Touching me was one thing, but to kiss me, that was entirely out of the question.

I watched her timidation and reached out to touch those lips.

How sweet it had been to kiss Christine.

Would it be as sweet to kiss Meg?

I reached down and kissed her, feeling all my despair and mourning deepening as I realized Meg's soft lips were upon me. It almost felt as if I were cheating on Christine!

Yet Meg's tender embrace pushed me farther, and I felt my body responding. I grasped her lips in urgency, savoring the gentle carress and simple pleasure.

When we parted it was with some reluctance.

I looked down as I held Meg's hand, thinking of how Antoinette would not be pleased.

I broke our contact to get ready for bed; perhaps a little too adruptly. Meg looked at me with stupefaction, almost as if she couldn't belive this had happened.

Neither could I.

I wondered down the hall to the outhouses; replacing my mask. I knew now that Meg was not afraid of me, nor did she only feel pity.

She really did like me, as a friend and confident, and more. My problem was, while the kiss had been spectacular; I did not share the same feelings.

Lust is a different emotion than Love.


	19. Going Back

**Antoinette Giry:** I spent the week in such a relaxing state, I didn't even want to leave on Saturday. I'd met several great people during my visit, including a handsome young man named Jean-Claude, from Milan, France.

He had long black hair and the softest blue eyes.

We spent hours by the poolside, talking, laughing, and enjoying the clear weather. It was Mid-November, and there was a crisp chill to the air. The retreat itself was marvelous.

I received facial treatments, manicures and pedicures; and I decided, at Jean-Claude's advice, to cut my long braided hair. It wasn't short, but I had it cut up to my shoulders and styled in the latest English style.

I felt relaxed, warm, and comfortable. Each evening was spectacular, with a live band that played and Jean-Claude and I dancing. He was impressed by my talent, and I would only giggle.

I never told him about my experiences at The Paris Opera, only that I was a simple woman looking for some relaxation. I never even told him I had a daughter; which shamed me. I was proud of Megan; but yet, I often wondered if she was proud of me.

I worried about her and Erik constantly, all through my vacation. I was afraid of what may or may not have been happening between them; whether Erik was keeping a lookout for Meg or if Meg was keeping Erik in line.

Both of them together without some supervision was a disaster waiting to happen. The only thing I was sure of was that Erik would never harm Meg, and that, although neither of them were very well at being alone, at least Meg would not lose her head.

Perhaps it was that both of them needed each other, to counter-balance their exceedingly different personalities, and I was needed to guide them both, where ever they chose to go.

Jean-Claude and I spent our days together, relishing the short time we would have. I loved to hold his hand and talk with him. He would often stare into my eyes and murmur fanciful words. It set my heart on fire, and yet I didn't expect us to remain close.

Perhaps that is why I never told him much about my life. He, however, confided in me with the most intimate secrets.

I had never met anyone so charming and dashing, even my late husband could not compare to Jean-Claude's wit. We danced by the moonlight, laughed in the early sunrise, and at times it felt as if all my worries could fade away, with one simple man.

Yet they couldn't. Because another man dominated me

. I was in charge of one of Paris's most hunted and feared mass murderers, and he was with my daughter. No amount of wine and laughter could take away my responsibilities. So it was with a heavy heart, and several tears, that I refused Jean-Claude's invitation to his home in Milan.

I tried to explain we had two separate paths to take, and that I was going to travel further. I used every lie my heart could bleed, to make my new found happiness leave.

It was impossible for me to shirk my duties as a mother for some petty fling.

Although I knew Meg was well old enough to find herself a man and settle down, I couldn't bear the thought of leaving her all alone. And there was always the presence of Erik; the constant pressure of figuring out what to do with him.

He had been my charge and responsibility, and I couldn't throw away nearly twenty-two years of caretaking.

I was left on Saturday morning alone, as Jean-Claude rode away without even a kiss goodbye.

**Meg: **We spent the rest of the week skiing, walking, and playing the piano. Neither of us spoke about the kiss, and we filled our time with so many activities that we were never caught alone without some form of entertainment.

Erik seemed subdued, lost in thought, and I did not bother him. I knew my actions had been harsh and quick, and I wondered if I had hurt him somehow. Yet it was I who was also hurting. While Erik pined away for Christine, I too pined away for him.

Two loves, unrequited, and it increased the tension between us terribly.

Often I had seen Erik taking glances at me, but he would always turn away when I looked at him. He continued to wear his mask, and I did not pressure him to remove it. It wasn't until we were ready to descend the mountain that the tension broke.

It had been a wonderful three days at the ski lodge, and I was sad to be leaving. Yet my legs and feet were quite happy to be resting against my horse again. Erik had removed his black ski mask and was again wearing his white half mask.

He had taken the fedora back from me and had packed his wig with his luggage. I didn't mind, that hat looked rather silly on me, and yet when Erik wore it he excluded menace. I knew we would not be mugged on our way to meet my mother.

We hadn't actually been that quite and alone in several days, but now the silence grew around us like ivy on a vine. I asked Erik how long it would take us to reach the cross-roads where we would meet my mother, but he merely shrugged and replied he didn't know.

I looked back down at my reins and sighed. Finally I asked him, why he was so distant to me. To my surprise he told me I was being distant to him. I looked at him incredulously, unable to believe he would accuse me of being cold to him.

I was the one who broke down and cried, it was me who revealed my deepest feelings only to find that they were unrecepricated! Erik, however, told me it was only a young woman's crush, and that I shouldn't be so worked up over such a little thing.

We were friends and nothing more.

That made me madder than I had ever felt, and I slept that night far away from Erik.

**Erik:** Once again Meg was angry at me. I suppose that is the only feeling I inspire in people; anger and fear.

Of course I was rather exasperated by her. All during the time we spent at the ski lodge Meg continued to make advances upon me. Even after our conversation she continued to try and catch my attention, as if willing me to change my mind.

I did love her, if that was what she wanted, but I did not love her in the way she expected me to.

It was difficult enough with my conflicted feelings, but Meg was hardly giving me time to think over things.

I could barely keep up with her as she skied, walked, and even tried to start a snowball fight with some young people. The only time I could be alone was when I was playing the piano. It was my sanctuary, just as it had been at the Opera, and I poured my music into the keys.

During our trip back to meet Ann, Meg again tried to engage me in conversation. I had to tell her the truth, I couldn't love anyone as much as I loved Christine, but I did need Meg in my life. She kept me sane, she kept me from falling off the edge; but honestly, if she continued her advances I was going to become enraged.

I was beginning to miss Antoinette, and was glad when Meg chose to sleep on the other side of the forest road.

I needed some space to think, to solve, and to simply relax. I looked up at the stars, mapping out each little dot, but as time moved on I realized I was not falling asleep.

I thought of Christine, and how much simpler she had been.

In fact, she had been far too simple. At least with Meg I was being challenged.

She had a volatile and inquisitive nature, and I realized I did enjoy that. Perhaps I was being too hard on Meg. She did like me for who I was, as a man; and I didn't have to pretend around her.

I finally sat up and looked across at Meg's sleeping form. It would be rude to awaken her at such an hour, but then I wasn't the type of man to follow common curtesy. I patted my sleeping horse as I walked across to Meg. She was breathing deep, and I gently tapped her shoulder.

She did not wake, and I whispered, "Meg." I sighed. She was far to deep a sleeper. Christine would awake at the slightest noise, but Meg was lost in her dreams.

I shook her shoulder more roughly, and she awoke with a gasp, "Erik, what's wrong?"

I sat beside her and whispered, "I'm sorry."

She looked at me groggily and asked, "What!"

I repeated myself, "I'm sorry for my behavior these past few days. I have been rather oblivious to your feelings."

Meg was now sitting up and looking at me rather crossly. "You woke me up in the middle of the night to say this?"

I nodded, "It couldn't wait until morning. I am also sorry for waking you up." I hoped she wouldn't hit me for my brash behavior, but instead she folded her arms tight. "Erik, why after all this time, would you wait until the middle of the night to talk to me?"

I shrugged and replied, "Sometimes the best conversations happen at night." Meg yawned and told me, "But this is something we can discuss in the morning. I do accept your, apology, but please let me go back to sleep."

Her hair fell into her eyes and I automatically reached out to brush it back.

I liked looking at her eyes, but that one movement caught me in a web of strange emotions.

I stopped, my hand against her temple, and looked at her. I twisted the hair in my fingers, nervous and slightly drawn to her.

Meg looked at me, and I reached down, kissing her forehead and letting her hair go.

She smiled for the first time in several hours, and I whispered, "We can talk in the morning. Goodnight."

I quickly walked over to my belongings, calming my beating heart.


	20. Lost

**Meg:** I awoke quickly, packing my items and walking over to Erik. He was already awake, but I had a feeling he had not slept at all that night. His rather peculiar actions last night had prompted me to let him speak his mind.

Obviously whatever I was doing was upsetting him. I had never meant to push him away, only to bring him closer. I had forgotten, in pursuit of my own happiness, about Erik's feelings.

The week had gone by and I felt as if I had wasted it. Such a wonderful time, and now we were leaving. Neither of us knew where we were headed, but we moved along to reach my mother. After that, I supposed the wind would guide us.

Erik wouldn't speak to me for a few moments, and I did not pressure him. Yet, when the silence felt too suffocating, I had to say, "Erik." Right at that moment Erik said, "Meg." I stopped to let him go on.

He looked at me and said, "No, you can tell me first."

I bit my lip and tried to think of what to say. "Erik, I'm sorry if I've been pushing myself on you too hard. I do realize that you need your space. I never meant to intrude, I just. I wanted to let you know that I do care about you."

Erik nodded as he petted his horse's mane. "I realize you have feelings for me Meg. I do as well. But there are so many things that come between us. I'm far older than you, and a bit unstable. Your mother would never allow it either. And quite honestly, I think you deserve someone better."

I sighed as we trudged along. "But I don't want someone better. I just want you."

Erik continued to pet his horse and never looked me in the eye. "How would you like to go back to France, and find a little apartment. I could support you and your mother, like an Uncle, kind of. In time you'll find a handsome, young man and settle down. Perhaps your children could continue your love of Ballet."

I felt my insides burning as Erik brushed me away.

I couldn't believe that one moment he could be kissing me and the next, telling me to go off and find someone else! "Where can I find a man that knows so much as you do, and has so many talents, and can do so many tricks? Where can I find a man so passionate and romantic that he'll never give up his love, even when she's married and shacked up with another man's baby!" I practically screamed at him, I was fuming so hard I wanted to knock him off his horse.

"Megan, that was unacceptable." He told me crisp and sharp.

I replied, "Your unacceptable." Erik suddenly glared at me, and the feirce anger in his eyes shocked me.

I gripped my reins tighter as Erik's voice seethed into my skin, biting at my pores. "You don't understand how I feel. All it seems you are thinking of is your own damn wants. I never asked to be here, with you or with Ann. I wanted Christine, and now she's gone. You have a blatant disregard of this loss. I can't simply skip over one girl and move to the next. I'm not that kind of man.

Women, and men, and even children, hate me. Can you understand Hate Megan? Can you understand how hard it is to move through life knowing you'll never be accepted, or even regarded? It is a wonder you have any interest at all in me, considering how easily you moved from one man to the next at that Opera. When our time is over, you'll find another man, but will I ever find another woman?"

Erik suddenly raced ahead of me and I lost his visage in the distance. I myself stopped my horse and fell off her, leaning against her foreleg as I cried.

**Erik:** I raced my horse as fast as I could, never stopping to see if Meg would follow. I didn't want her to follow, in fact I did not want to be near her. She obviously couldn't understand my feelings, and only cared about her own.

I had never felt so lost and empty as when Meg screamed at me. A friend, or at least I thought she had been. She treated Christine as if she were a dog, some little lap dog that I continued to pet. Meg only wanted me to forget Christine and move on to her.

It was impossible, and downright inconceivable.

I had loved Christine for many years, and only now realized I had had feelings for Meg in the past few months. It was like comparing a branch to a log. All I wanted was for Meg to talk to me, like we had in the past, or listen as she so often did.

I had never had anyone listen to me like her before, but now she was ignoring me and only talking about her emotions. It was impossible to get a word of reason in. I began to slow my horse as I realized Meg was nowhere within sight.

"Damn." I muttered as I turned Aries around.

I trotted him at a slow pace to rest him, but soon I realized he needed a full break. It would be impossible to reach her without some fast form of transportation. I let my horse drink from his water canister as I called out, "Meg!"

The forest only echoed it back. "Megan! Answer me!" Again all I received was an echo. I began to panic, wondering where in hell that child could have gone. I grabbed Aries, ignoring his protested snort, and kicked my heels.

We raced back the other way, but there was no sign of Meg. I saw where the hooves of many horses had stamped upon the ground, but it was impossible to distinguish which one was Brise's. I screamed again, but no one answered.

I raced back to the campsite, but no one could say they had seen a young blonde woman. The people along the trail were tedious and useless, and I felt Aries's exhaustion.

I lept off him, leaving him in the middle of the road to rest, while I plunged into the foliage on the side of the trail.

**Meg: **I thought of how I had treated Erik in the past week, clinging to him as if I were a leech. He was a man who valued privacy, and I had invaded that. It was hard to explain my feelings to a man who only thought one woman had those feelings.

Of course I didn't expect him to give up Christine, but I had hoped he would place her memory in a safe place and build new memories with me.

I supposed it was a childish whim. Erik would never be more to me than a good friend, and I figured it was best to just shut up and listen to him. Perhaps there was a nice Swiss man I could start dating, someone to take my mind off the one man I had ever actually felt for.

It was true, I went from people to people, collecting boyfriends as a person collects stamps.

But with Erik I had felt a certain pull, something that made me think, if we were together I would never want another man.

I guess that was how Erik felt about Christine. If so, she was a lucky woman. Vicompte's and Phantom's chasing after her, and all I ever got was a perverted dwarf peeking up my skirt.

Now, however, that Phantom had run off, because of my precarious affections. I had to reach up to him before we both got lost, but when I pulled myself up on the saddle I wondered if Erik had simple ran away, and was never coming back.

How would I explain that to my mother? She might even paddle me, for being so dumb as to lose him.

**Erik:** Walking into the tall grass and swatting at the mosquitos I began to wonder if Meg hadn't simply continued onward, to reach her mother.

Certainly she wouldn't wonder off the trail just for spite. But then again, I never knew what Meg was going to do. I raced back to the spot I had left Aries, only to find the damn horse asleep. I kicked the dirt, screamed for Meg, and finally sat beside him.

Suddenly I heard a scream, and I realized Meg was calling me.

I raced down the dirt path to find the child as panic stricken as I. "Megan Giry, where in the hell have you been?"

I raced to her, grabbing her off the horse and looking at her. "I was right where you left me when you decided to run off!" She retorted.

I wanted to shake my fist in her face, but rather I held her close, hugging her tight. If Antoinette had known I'd lost her only daughter she would have killed me on the spot. I couldn't have even faced the woman, I'd have had to start living in the forest.

Meg was squirming and I let go, looking at her. "Megan, I was panicked. I thought I had lost you. Please, please don't ever frighten me like that."

Meg replied, "It was you who left me. Erik, are you alright?"

I realized I had a tear streaming down my eye and I replied, "Fine, just fine." I turned but she pulled at my arm.

"Erik, I'm sorry for being so irritating. I understand you need time to adjust. I apologize for my behavior." I looked down into Meg's sweet eyes and told her, "I need you to be the way you are. Without you, my thoughts would be consumed with Christine."

I lifted her chin and gazed into her eyes. Gently I reached down and kissed her lips, a soft, tender caresses.

She smiled as she turned to her horse. I walked over to Aries and woke him.

Although he was tired we had a long way to go, and Ann would now be mad, not because of her lost daughter, but because of her late daughter.


	21. Chapter 21

**I am sorry to report that this story shall be on Hiatus untill I can finish the entire story. I shall no longer be updating this story chapter by chapter but rather will write the rest of the ending and soon will publish the story in it's entirety. I am back in school now and can no longer write as I did during the summer. Again, I am sorry if this causes inconveinance, the whole story will be finished soon. XOXO D.Lomia**  



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